kelsey :3

2 blunts 9 sluts

[josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99]

"The Boys are Back in Town" is meant to sound celebratory. But to those of us like myself who considered the boys our friends, it can hurt hearing it second-hand, like I'm the last one to find out

[carter hambley @carterhambley]

great. and on top of it all my chocolatier is sick

[Cameron Bradford @camerobradford]

The key word here is public. Those of us close to the Olaf animatronic have been seeing these troubling episodes behind closed doors for years

[✌🏻🤡 @xboxplaystatio]

I am a tiny man: when my son was born, the doctor handed me to him

[Errai @errai]

The Dinner Dictator: I'd like to have seared scallops, and she'll have a wedge salad, and (pointing at another table) that guy over there will be having the risotto

[carter hambley @carterhambley]

i like that mailman trucks don’t have no door. fuck yeah. take his shoes too

[beautiful woman @zooomettee]

Bf said I have to go to bed #nazi

[Rosie ☮︎ ✌︎︎ ♡⃛ @1rosieleft]

The 60s were so funny. Imagine being on too much acid and also you’re wearing some bullshit

[Natalie Would @_NatalieWould]

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket" Well I just have the one egg

[•ultra glitch• @highsieze6]

wait here while i gather twigs for our bedding

[Anna Krivolapova @AnaKrivolapova]

I just remembered when I got really into Chinese zoo conspiracies because my friend who was working at the nat'l zoo witnessed the mother panda intentionally smother her baby to death and then my friend died a few months later. I keep seeing her doppelgänger around town

[Chief ⚔️ ‼️ (Dinosaurs Are Real) @ChiefofIsaac]

man I dont feel welcomed

The welcoming horse:

[Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz]

Oh you’re a chef that’s cool. Do you mostly focus on lunch or supper?

[Daniel M. Lavery @daniel_m_lavery]

[with sudden, bracing suspicion] this light, nourishing broth had better not also be restorative

[yoshimi battles dracula @nise_yoshimi]

The look my oddish gives me when he leaps out of the pokeball and it's a charizard

[charlie @chunkbardey]

leaving my apartment for two weeks but leaving a single cup in the sink as a gesture to continuity upon my return

[Thomas White @len0killer]

Made some cookies but I’m too shy to check on them 🤷‍♂️

[gimble @noodlegibbon]

divides into three and looks at you like this

[moose @semiitruck]

this painting on the wall of brunch place yesterday almost 7 ft wide. my pov