Notice when your heart hardens, when you feel frozen or closed off and when you find yourself becoming cold. And remember that’s not who you are, that’s a strategy. The same way you picked it you can let it go.
I had to realize at some point, when I was seeking something from someone, such as an apology, changed behavior, or a different way of relating - that they simply couldn’t give it. They didn’t have the capacity, wiring, energy, stamina or even the self-awareness to meet me there.
People who lack communication skills will say you're trying to argue. People who lack the emotional intelligence to understand your depth will say you're too sensitive. Don't let them gaslight you into thinking "Something's wrong with me" when they project their lack onto you.