Shan

Certified hot mess/ pirate 💀 Continually livin’ my best life & having more fun than any other asshole at the Jimmy Buffet concert 💀

[Shan @pirateshan]

Tell me you’re in #delco without telling me you’re in delco.

[Shan @pirateshan]

It’s 2022- and If you’re a diner still putting watermelon Garnish on the plate….. just know… I’ll be back 👏🏽

[Shan @pirateshan]

@MitchFreeman21 I wanna know how you really feel rn

[Shan @pirateshan]

Realizing it’s time to get off the internet when I start screaming at celebrities “talking to one another” on tiktok is probably the most growth I’ve made in about a decade

[Shan @pirateshan]

Why are prison slips becoming a fashion - the world is in rough enough shape..

[Shan @pirateshan]

Girls out here sayin “those studded sandals are millennial fashion we’re giving fashion .. ✨again ✨ while wearing kitten heels.. YET LETTING MEN GET AWAY WITH POLOS AND RUNNING SHOES FOR A DECADE. Is what is wrong with today.. and in this essay… I will …

[Shan @pirateshan]

Hear me out … ✌🏼

[Shan @pirateshan]

Guys playing golf- Who have the belief (audacity..) -THAT ACTUALLY- looking like they are attending a Tommy Bahama opening in 2014 is something credible. AND GETTING AWAY WITH IT. Are my new current arch nemesis

[Shan @pirateshan]

@alir9034 @Waynes_Rant @AdamSandler Pick some days in July and I’m in. GET READY TO RAGE. Or atleast day drink until we pass out at 7pm

[Shan @pirateshan]

Atleast 92% of my personality is sewn together by shreds of @AdamSandler secondary movie characters & deep cut quotes, and the other 8% is from Adam Sandler movie soundtracks.. and it tracks for the drunk accents if nothing else

[Shan @pirateshan]

@Waynes_Rant @AdamSandler I miss you wayneskies. Let’s drink beer and play trivia soon. You in.. @alir9034 ?

[Shan @pirateshan]

@gratefulfred77 Go birds baby 😂

[Shan @pirateshan]

Few things have made me happier .. than watching men actually cry angry tears over the draft ✨✨

[Shan @pirateshan]

A girl at the grocery store just told me I reminded her of a girl version of @SnoopDogg 🥹 “cause I look like in”dgaf” and I am on cloud 420 ☁️

[Shan @pirateshan]

It’s a beautiful day for some fuckery

[Shan @pirateshan]

2004.. and I cannot stress this enough.. only 2004. Matthew Lillard could make cargo shorts attractive.

[Shan @pirateshan]

Doc Martens are goth Timberlands

[Shan @pirateshan]

Still watching @WrestleMania .. and once again realizing the grip it has on who I am as a person. LITA influenced 9 year old me to be a baddy and 29 year old me to be a baddie (31 too.. but whatever)

[Shan @pirateshan]

@SullyJr610 ♥️♥️ JUST LIKE OUR FRIENDSHIP. Pick back up on it every 6 years. It’s real. It makes me believe in chaotic good. And it’ll never change 👹

[Shan @pirateshan]

Watching #WrestleMania and having a whole ass therapy moment - that I am fully realizing my constant existential crisis started when I was 9 and my dad told me it was fake. - #stillrealtome