𝓫𝓻

I've just graduated from Harvard College, Yale. I aced every semester and got an A. she/her

[𝓫𝓻 @practiceswrong]

Help my grandpa is making our waitress read an article he clipped out of a newspaper about a man that ate his own eyeball

[Sydney Battle @SydneyBattle]

the witch at spirit halloween waiting for me to step on her mat

[⚜︎ 𝐜𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐲 ⚜︎ @helllmouth]

this is quite literally the most insane shit i think i’ve ever read, what the fuck lol

[the doogfather @thedoogfather]

lindsay graham in hell trying to get ronald reagan’s attention

[𝙋𝙖𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝘾𝙡𝙪𝙗 @gio__palace]

Me smiling at you because I didn't hear anything you just said

[Leaded Gasoline Activist @UhhhWelllUmm]

@nise_yoshimi Matt Christman

[𝓫𝓻 @practiceswrong]

@majordouzie Yeah like we will have some sport on, on occasion which she does not give a shit about and leaves the room lol she only cares about Sesame Street, Bluey, Ms. Rachel, Daniel Tiger, and Carl the Collector. Were also a no paw patrol house lmao

[𝓫𝓻 @practiceswrong]

@majordouzie Our biggest life hack has been “audio books” which is just us playing a read aloud book from YouTube and covering the screen lmao

[𝓫𝓻 @practiceswrong]

@majordouzie days at a time without tv doesn’t sound impressive but we just like…never have the tv on in general. She’s usually too busy creating elaborate situations for her figurines and trucks that cohabitate in the 1980s Barbie dream house we inherited lmao

[𝓫𝓻 @practiceswrong]

@majordouzie marv was no screen time until ≈ 2 and has no iPad now at 3.5. She goes days at a time without watching tv! I also refuse to drop thousands of dollars to visit a planned city turned giant store and theme park despite my soft spot for the original Epcot concept lol

[𝓫𝓻 @practiceswrong]

@majordouzie Marv hated baths for a very long time lol 😭

[Kristi Yamaguccimane @TheWapplehouse]

The monster was actually Frankenstein’s energy drink

[Ken Klippenstein @kenklippenstein]

RT to show solidarity with Jimmy Kimmel !

[Christin @hexprax]

I love being American because it's the psychic equivalent of being hit in the head one million times with a mallet

[crisp mattman @cushbomb]

Out: capitalist-realism.
in: capitalist-surrealism.

[𝓫𝓻 @practiceswrong]

@majordouzie I used an app that had options and one was like famous props from movies and I was amped to know when the baby was the size of the pills from the matrix

[Kristi Yamaguccimane @TheWapplehouse]

I fear the Chinese are already cooking us with incredible precision

[WBR @W_B_Rick]

Turning off the Wicked soundtrack to put on the new Kendrick Lamar album I’m moving in ways some of y’all couldn’t even fathom

[𝓫𝓻 @practiceswrong]

why are they doing the national anthem before the Jake Paul Mike Tyson fight

[Adam Singer @AdamSinger]

"how could this have happened," we cried from our vacation home while our kids were barely affording groceries