Mervyn ™

I'm a Christian ✝ .🙂.

Open-source Evangelist. ✞

[Mervyn ™ @pray4merv]

𝔰𝔦𝔠 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔳𝔦𝔰 𝔪𝔞𝔤𝔫𝔞

[Boring_Business @BoringBiz_]

what a privilege it is to be exhausted by an ambition of your own choosing

[Gideon. @black_boi__]

Nepotism that transcends death. Legendary.

[J O E L ▲ @JoelFickson]

Here is your weekly Monday reminder: It will be a great week. Go and get yours!

[trash @trashh_dev]

another week at the prompt factory

[👑 J³ABz👑 @Jabz_CFC]

The Japanese actor who conquered Hollywood with discipline and a samurai spirit

[Flawsome @NeyTipa]

It’s been an amazing week 😁

[Walker @liwucodes]

Getting paid today requires you to endure conflict in one of 3 ways:

1. The conflict of levelling up technically and consistently producing quality work

2. The conflict of having uncomfortable conversations with prospects, colleagues and juniors to achieve goals
......

[It's FOSS @Itsfoss]

Never ask

- a woman her age
- a man his salary
- a Linux user his Netflix streaming quality

[𝒥𝑅! @jr_mdg_]

when I say "ima call you later" i mean like later on in life not today

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

We hired a new VP of Engineering who is obsessed with agile methodology.

He called a meeting on his first day and said we need to transition to 2-week development sprints.

He wanted daily stand-ups, retrospective boards, and continuous deployment pipelines.

He wanted us to actually write new code.

I realized immediately that he was an existential threat to my lifestyle.

I let him finish his impassioned speech about workflow velocity.

Then I stood up, walked to the whiteboard, and drew a single horizontal line.

I told him agile sprints are a localized solution for a localized mindset.

I said our infrastructure operates on a Zenith Release Cycle.

He asked what a Zenith Release Cycle was.

I told him it's a holistic, macro-stabilization framework where we observe the system in a state of prolonged stasis.

By not touching the code for 18 months, we allow the legacy dependencies to organically settle.

I told him that deploying bi-weekly updates creates micro-abrasions in our database architecture.

I used the phrase chronological data scarring.

The CEO was in the room and audibly gasped.

He told the new VP that we can't risk chronological data scarring just to satisfy a trendy tech buzzword.

The VP looked at me like I'd just invented a new color.

He was completely paralyzed by the sheer density of my fabricated jargon.

He quietly agreed to adopt the Zenith Release Cycle.

We're officially scheduled to deploy our next update in the third quarter of 2027.

I spent the rest of the afternoon buying things I don't need on Amazon.

Agile is a disease invented by people who want to be punished for their salary.

I refuse to participate in my own suffering.

[Mervyn ™ @pray4merv]

Rick & Morty is one hell of a show. The writers ndi madolo heavy

[Rick and Morty @RickandMorty]

We have opposable thumbs, Morty

[Anime Tweets @AnimexTwts]

PEAK TRIO

[LEYE @leyeConnect]

You have to wake up every morning and firmly refuse mediocrity. Firmly.

[Mervyn ™ @pray4merv]

Chakwera was proof of that it's possible, ndithu. Every rule has an exception.

[Vince Chinyama @VinceChinyama]

Not that i agree with @General_wongie but all i know is that you do not get to the levels of being head of state being dumb!

[Rajjath @Rajjath24]

it is an unwritten rule of life that after every prolonged period of hardship and uncertainty, there is going to be a period when you are going to achieve quantum leaps across multiple areas of your life. the only requirement is that you do not give up on yourself.

[Piero HINCAPIE @Dentalgiorgio]

Having a smart, successful older bro is one of life's great hacks.

[B. @buhlesrevenge]

broccoli had such bad pr growing up. what an elite vegetable

[Nicky💕 @jas_d_barbie]

Work beef is so unnecessary like just do your job and go home😭