Jonas

[Jonas @random_jonas]

@CMayerHQ @NetflixIsAJoke insanely bad taste of the social media marketing staff

[madeofmistake @madeofmistak3]

it's way easier to be friends with people who are absolutely-wrong-about-important-things than i would have thought

[Michael Kasper @KasperStats]

just realized Chicago's MLS team is called the "Chicago Fire." ya know, their biggest disaster.

that would be like if New York had a team called the "New York Jets"...

[Jonas @random_jonas]

@DarbraDawn 5 sounds like a lot of soccer matches

[Jonas @random_jonas]

@seconds_0 May be misleading, by legal technicality he can't be held by police longer, but he may be under supervision in a mental hospital or similar

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

I'm as greedy as the next guy.

I'm just lazier than he is.

[eigenrobot @eigenrobot]

earnest advice to young people

im very sorry to say you cant feed your family with intellectual satisfaction. and this will become more and more salient to your interests as the years go by

[Ghost Maggie Serota @maggieserota]

My sick action hero line before I kill a bad guy:

[madeofmistake @madeofmistak3]

sorta sucks when you want to relax around someone but they believe something dumb and you have to stay alert enough not to criticize their dumb thing on accident

[Mike Solana @micsolana]

look, they had a nice run, killed hundreds of millions of people, but it's time to gene drive mosquitoes out of existence. fuck it, ticks too.

[Elizabeth @beefington420]

My 3 yo put a dried apricot in my water bottle and I didn’t notice, took a sip in the middle of the night and it tasted so weird, shined my flashlight in there, the apricot had rehydrated and was like a perfectly round glowing testicle in the bottom of my water bottle. Horrific

[Jonas @random_jonas]

@KaufmanAudrey this is good for society, efficient allocation of resources

[Tenobrus @tenobrus]

ppl always focus on how things that used to be joyful and magical as children lose their luster as adults... but not so much how many new things become genuinely interesting/joyful . like i can viscerally excited about a new couch or a dark chocolate in a way kids literally can't

[Jonas @random_jonas]

@sonyasupposedly "and a house is a house for me."

[Nat McAleese @__nmca__]

A full-scale US Waymo rollout would cost ~700 full-time jobs in the funeral care industry (by saving around 35 thousand young American lives per year). Will no one think of (some of) the morticians!

[Crémieux @cremieuxrecueil]

Let's be clear:

Spain: enacts rent control -> no more homes

Argentina: ends rent control -> tons of new homes

Rent control is a better way to destroy cities than dropping bombs on them.

[Romy @Romy_Holland]

when I was a kid, adults worked really hard to make sure I could identify reliable sources of information. they made a big deal about not citing wikipedia etc. but they didn't drive home that a lot of the people talking about politics are just mentally ill and you shouldn't listen to anything they say.

the older I've gotten, the more I've seen people I know get depressed and then start talking like this. they blame their mental state on the state of the world, but the causation clearly goes the other way.

[Jonas @random_jonas]

@parmita Yes

[love drops @lovedropx]

My best tip for anyone trying to get back into reading is to remember that you can read books to avoid other responsibilities in your life, and it can become a vice if you play your cards right.

[Jonas @random_jonas]

@poquitopochita @fleshsimulator I thought they meant if anyone at the Pentagon actually DMs them, that person