Clare

• wife • mom of 2 under 3 • moose • instrumentalist • year-round wearer of Christmas pajama pants • lover of Dr. Pepper, carbs, and Chapstick •

[Clare @realMotherMoose]

@PascoSheriff Please send patrols to Sunlake Blvd in Lutz between SR 54 and Roseate Dr. as kids are drag racing once again! Happens almost every night!!! Please prevent another tragedy like what happened on Bayshore Blvd yesterday!

[Clare @realMotherMoose]

@PerezHilton @KylieJenner How is she wearing that kind of underwear already when at 1 month post partum I was still wearing adult diapers with Hane’s cotton briefs up to my armpits?

[Clare @realMotherMoose]

@Factsionary #Fixit #meadowsmovement

[Clare @realMotherMoose]

@lkherman Aghhh I missed it!

[Clare @realMotherMoose]

@realDonaldTrump I understand you’re meeting with the surviving students today, which I respect. Please do the right thing. There is not one good reason for a civilian to have an assault weapon. Not one. #MakeAmericaSafeAgain

[Clare @realMotherMoose]

@richardcorcoran Shame on the FL House, as a whole!

[Clare @realMotherMoose]

@richardcorcoran Why did you vote “no” on the assault rifles ban? Seriously, tell me one reason an assault rifle is needed in civilian, non war-zone life. ONE.

[Clare @realMotherMoose]

I am with you, #EmmaGonzalez #WeCallBS #EmmaGonzalezForPresident #guncontrol #DoSomething #thelastmassshooting

[Clare @realMotherMoose]

@shasteenjamae This literally just made me laugh so freaking hard

[Clare @realMotherMoose]

Some days I feel like Super Mom. Other days I feel like driving a minivan into the ocean. Amirite?

[Clare @realMotherMoose]

My 2yo just got distracted mid-tantrum by Paw Patrol for at least one minute, then resumed screaming once she realized I was still there.

[Clare @realMotherMoose]

@MelvinofYork @AnniemuMary Platypeese, obviously 😁

[Clare @realMotherMoose]

@MomOnFire I've never even seen the movie. I'm 33

[Clare @realMotherMoose]

Parents warned me about drug/alcohol peer pressure in high school, but no one warned me about peer pressure as an adult on a low carb diet.

[Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer]

Top 5 Things I'll never say:

1. Let's go camping.
2. I'm not hungry.
3. I'm so awake.
4. The laundry is done.
5. I don't need another wine.

[Clare @realMotherMoose]

The only thing that could taste better than this perfectly ripe avocado with lime for breakfast would be....pizza. #ilucarbs

[Clare @realMotherMoose]

One of the scariest things that can happen as a parent is accidentally banging into a musical toy in your child's room while they are asleep

[Clare @realMotherMoose]

@shortxstack SAME. 😫

[Clare @realMotherMoose]

@dmb3941 @dmb3941 Dear Rylen and Iris, the request lines are not open. 😂

[Clare @realMotherMoose]

@dmb3941 The biggest lie ever told is that a toddler wants eggs. 😂