chill gates official

not a parody!! i only laugh at jokes made at ted cruz’s expense

[Poem Today @poemtoday]

No Explosions

To enjoy
fireworks
you would have
to have lived
a different kind
of life

Naomi Shihab Nye

[helena riley @freshhel]

Telling guys at the club i’m haunted

[Hannah Riley Fernandez @hannahcrileyy]

do Zoom next I’m tired

[helena riley @freshhel]

I love how glossier is like do you want a sticker you little fucking idiot

[Connor Franta @connorfranta]

watching twilight …. obviously

[chill gates official @realchillgates]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[chill gates official @realchillgates]

another day another day closer to my RETIREMENT

[jonny sun @jonnysun]

every statue is bad. if you can think of a statue that is good it is actually a sculpture

[chill gates official @realchillgates]

@likaluca The Wedding Date by @thebestjasmine

[pj @pjayevans]

if someone at my job murdered someone and continued working at my job, i would quit my job

[chill gates official @realchillgates]

will have a heart attack at any moment now. maybe the next time i hear an ed sheeran song

[chill gates official @realchillgates]

each of the seven hair ties in my living room serves a purpose: day 28

[chill gates official @realchillgates]

in conclusion: nothing is worth doing

[chill gates official @realchillgates]

how the FUCK do i iron a jumpsuit

[chill gates official @realchillgates]

only a plague of this magnitude would be able to propel bidets into popular american culture! a true silver lining. i lie in wait

[chill gates official @realchillgates]

guess i’m growing my hair out

[Ezra Klein @ezraklein]

I miss Elizabeth Warren

[amelia elizalde @ameliaelizalde]

i am going to lure joe biden into some sort of large maze