Ricardo Salazar

I love giving cards out to everyone! For the dummies out there, this is a parody account.

[Ricardo Salazar @RedCardoSalazar]

My farts stink. I have to take a shit. #rockcenterxmas #itchybutt

[Ricardo Salazar @RedCardoSalazar]

I just finished.

[Ricardo Salazar @RedCardoSalazar]

I just sharted. #attgotw #mls https://t.co/OGuuwIk7oz

[Major League Soccer @MLS]

So many good candidates, only one #ATTGotW.

Have your say: https://t.co/rQyBlgCyxu https://t.co/Dlp2oqhuMz

[Ricardo Salazar @RedCardoSalazar]

No one cares. Titties. #cf97 https://t.co/1f0JvRymdm

[Chicago Fire FC @ChicagoFire]

The new #cf97 All-Access is beginning now on @CSNChicago! 📺👀

[Ricardo Salazar @RedCardoSalazar]

I have an itchy ass.

[Ricardo Salazar @RedCardoSalazar]

@AlexiLalas I took a perfect shit. No wiping needed.

[Ricardo Salazar @RedCardoSalazar]

I farted and it smells a little bit.

[Ricardo Salazar @RedCardoSalazar]

@fredsal21 I am the King of Red Cards fool.

[Ricardo Salazar @RedCardoSalazar]

@fredsal21 Why didn't you invite me over then jerk? Red card for you.

[Ricardo Salazar @RedCardoSalazar]

Fuck yeah. I have an erection. #USAvCRC

[Ricardo Salazar @RedCardoSalazar]

Do you want to hold hands naked? #USAvCRC https://t.co/2C6ACcDlOm

[Mike Anzalone @Zontastic]

@RedCardoSalazar it's been a while Ricardo. Did the thumb you tweet with get stuck in your ass?

[Ricardo Salazar @RedCardoSalazar]

.@rachelbonnetta is sexy. #USAvCRC https://t.co/k1G231O8J7

[FOX Soccer @FOXSoccer]

At halftime of #USAvCRC, @ChristenPress will join @rachelbonnetta and @RyanRosenblatt at Solder Field on FB Live: https://t.co/DBdiUwS4Sd

[Ricardo Salazar @RedCardoSalazar]

Apparently Landycakes is at the game. Who cares? #USAvCRC

[Ricardo Salazar @RedCardoSalazar]

I have diarrhea. How do I watch the game from a port-o-potty? #USAvCRC

[Ricardo Salazar @RedCardoSalazar]

Oh be quiet. "@NERevolution: We have work to do tonight, and so do our friends in Boston.
Good luck this season, @celtics!"

[Ricardo Salazar @RedCardoSalazar]

No one cares. "@KICKTV: The @NBA is BACK.

[Ricardo Salazar @RedCardoSalazar]

@NotHansBacke #MLS should be posting selfies of me in my speedos. I can text you some if you want. #SexySalazar

[Ricardo Salazar @RedCardoSalazar]

@AlexiLalas I don't like you.

[Ricardo Salazar @RedCardoSalazar]

Can I come over? "@AlexiLalas: A special evening #InBedWithAlexi Periscope coming up."

[Ricardo Salazar @RedCardoSalazar]

@DaxMcCarty11 You didn't wait for me. I was taking a crap.