caul shivers

this account exists so i can get sports news and tweet inane shit to no one. no need to follow

[Gregor Blanco @gregorblanco7]

#NewProfilePic I’m back finally have my account again 👏⚾️

[Vivian @suchnerve]

🫵🏻😂 Bro has mistaken his romanticizing of his melancholic solitude for fulfillment!! 😂😂😂😂 He yearns for the comfort of love, yet shies from the humiliating ordeal of being known!!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[yc @yc]

Tom’s legacy lives on 🕊️

[crys; 🏈 @crystalscuor]

lmfao who did this

[caul shivers @reggie__blount]

after 2 weeks of sobriety / this shit ain’t half bad

[caul shivers @reggie__blount]

i don’t text i Engage In Dance

[Jani Gem 🌶 @Jani__Gee]

We gotta start walking in places and loudly saying “$20 for a SANDWICH????” and then immediately walking back out

[ak @arjunality]

you just need to know 3 “fuck why is it monday” and 4 “how is it friday already” jokes and you’re set for corporate

[49ers Gab @49ersGab]

Just a friendly reminder that the new scream queen is one of us

[jay @youreyeah1]

i'm healed send me the same girl

[cav empty @cavempty_]

it can be exciting when things are happening but sometimes it’s like woah woah no more happening im good thanks

[caul shivers @reggie__blount]

when women compliment ur shirt they’re just staring at your sick chain don’t let them objectify you

[caul shivers @reggie__blount]

Coffee shops need a more centralized area where you can hold court with strangers

[Rob Gucci @heatdaddy69420]

Hope everyone has best Sunday ever. Last Sunday of July. Make it count. Go outside. Ride a bike. Ride in a car but then put the window down and call a biker the F word that rhymes with maggot for no reason. Live a little. Read a book. Go for a walk. It’s the last summer of the year

[Benny Feldman @Feldfrog]

When I think of Tarzan, a sort of naked orphaned jungle man raised by apes, away from the world in the mud and darkness, what comes to mind is of course the smooth soft rock and roll of Phil Collins

[mattie lubchansky @Lubchansky]

(3 drinks) sometimes the world is so magnificent that i will weep at the many simple beauties you encounter during a normal day
(3.25 drinks) if you begin to think about it enemies are actually surrounding me and closing in. i am beset upon by evil on all sides

[shaurya @shauseth]

do you think genghis khan had a dashboard to give him operational insights

[hannah montoya @hannahcmontoya]

woah wtf i think someone roofied my 28th glass of red wine with viagra

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

If you're a man you shouldn't even know what date your birthday is

[dennis @dennismacelroy]

I’ve killed 13 aliens in the past month and they all looked exactly like regular human beings