Mark Hann

Husband, Dad, Nerd. “I cannot boast of loving God; I can only boast of being loved by him.” - Someone before me, most likely

[Mark Hann @rhymeswithman]

@DJSnM Best ad for physical media ever.

[Dan Hightower @Danhightower]

Daycare calls me. That's never good.

For them.

Daycare: "your son hurt his elbow and won't move his arm. Can you come take him to a doctor's office?"

Me (ex Special Forces Medic): "A real doctor is on the way to you now. I am 6 mikes out. Alert me of status changes."

I arrive at daycare. I locate the patient. 21 month old male. Scene is not safe. I drag the patient to cover and concealment behind a seesaw, away from the other small terrorists in the AO.

I begin my assessment. Blood sweep negative for massive hemorrhage. Mental status: conscious and verbal but confused (answers "dada" when asked for blood type). One breath every 2 seconds. Bilateral rise and fall of the chest. Strong carotid pulse, strong bilat radial pulse.

Teeth and tongue intact no blood no mucus no dip or foreign objects. Eyes PERRLA, negative JVD/trach deviation, C-spine intact upon palpation.

Heart sounds strong upon auscultation. Percussion negative for hemo-T. Abdominal quads normal upon palpation. Pelvis negative for book sign.

Arms and legs negative for crepitus. However, Patient indicates discomfort in right arm upon palpation and supination/flexion of the elbow.

Nursemaid's elbow.

I begin interventions. Supination/flexion technique complete at 1215. Palpable clunk on successful reduction. I write the time on his chest in Sharpie. I tape a popsicle to his hand and tell the patient to suck but do not bite/chew. I write "1 x popsicle (10g sugar)" on his chest in Sharpie.

I reassess the patient after performing interventions then package the patient for handoff to daycare/higher level of care. I yell at daycare over the Blackhawk in my head: "21 month old male!!! Nursemaids elbow!!! Treated with supination/flexion technique at 1215!!! Patient has 1 x popsicle onboard!!"

Daycare: "sir please leave."

Me: "you should have called my wife."

[Josh RR Jokien @joshcarlosjosh]

PETER: for the third time, I don't know Jesus!

ROOSTER: *crows*

JESUS:

[Mark Hann @rhymeswithman]

@FLDadReborn I’m convinced they’re really just filiming a prank show and trying to get people to go off for the views. That explanation actually makes more sense to me than the kabuki show we have now.

[Tim Carney @TPCarney]

Air Conditioning Discourse is another example of American Dads being absolutely essential. We are the solution.
1) Air Conditioning is great.
2) Seriously, close the blinds, turn on a fan, and don't touch the thermostat. It doesn't have to be at 68.

[Morgan @simplymorgn]

a good middle manager looks like a guy who just drinks coffee and forwards emails, but his actual job is secretly absorbing insane executive requests so the team can just do their work

[Drew Pavlou 🇦🇺🇺🇸🇺🇦🇹🇼 @DrewPavlou]

What a fucking photo.

Hung Cao’s family fled the Vietnamese communists as refugees.

He returns to meet with the Vietnamese communists as emissary of the most powerful empire in world history, acting Secretary of the United States Navy.

It’s like a biblical story. Joseph’s brothers sell him into slavery and he returns to them as the powerful representative of the Pharaoh

Amazing

[Mark Hann @rhymeswithman]

Be right back, have to mow the roof.

[Zillow Gone Wild 🏡 @zillowgonewild]

HOW about a good ole fashioned ZGW Bunker home for your Thursday?

CLFO for only $1,600,500 in Carlton KS on 18 acres

[Mark Hann @rhymeswithman]

@ClayTravis Someone inside FIFA please tell the music producer that The Star Spangled Banner is a hymn, not a march.

[Casey Handmer @CJHandmer]

Don't tell anyone that refrigerators are boxes with air conditioning on the back.

[Mark Hann @rhymeswithman]

We used to have one every week.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

We should have a national quiet day where everyone just shuts up for 24 hours.

[Mark Hann @rhymeswithman]

@scottiebateman I thought for sure it was from a third world country. Can’t believe they’d try that under the nose of the FAA.

[Mark Hann @rhymeswithman]

@beyondreasdoubt Had my first one in 30 years a couple hours ago. Found it very difficult to scorch the roof of my mouth. Disappointing.

[Mark Hann @rhymeswithman]

@TheIntelFrog At first glance, I assumed this video was from a third world country. Can’t believe a pilot did this - and filmed it! - under the nose of the FAA.

[Mark Hann @rhymeswithman]

@SonnyBunch Agree in principle, but when I think of how many careers she likely impeded or derailed, I’m finding sympathy difficult.

[Mark Hann @rhymeswithman]

@BuzzPatterson Love that they’re back taxiing to gain like 50’ - because they need it!

[Mark Hann @rhymeswithman]

The other day I was swimming with my kids. 7yo looked at my face and noticed something on my upper lip. She asked, “What’s that white stuff on your beard. DO YOU DYE YOUR BEARD!?!?!” Reader, it was snot.

[Mark Hann @rhymeswithman]

The Bee couldn’t have written this better

[New York Post @nypost]

Woman who emptied Knicks trashcan on street then stole it was DEI exec, worked at JPMorgan Chase https://t.co/rKAAbiZQHv

[Mark Hann @rhymeswithman]

@shaunvlog_ I’m partial to the Boar’s Head roast beef, but you really can’t go wrong.

[Mark Hann @rhymeswithman]

@westvillagecap Nice. Nice.