Fury Pesto 🐀

I got plans for this bio. Big plans.

[Fury Pesto 🐀 @RocketRankoon]

*GF walks in dressed up
"Who's the babe and what've you done with my gf?"
GF: Haha
*tackles imposter and puts her in choke hold
WHERE IS SHE

[Fury Pesto 🐀 @RocketRankoon]

@KatieMiller @TheDemocrats He's ugly though, like really ugly

[Fury Pesto 🐀 @RocketRankoon]

@ChrisNellMedia @JamieBonkiewicz You misspelled trailer, dum-dum

[Fury Pesto 🐀 @RocketRankoon]

@Olivia_Reingold

[Donhammed Trumpistan @TheRealDon85]

If high gas prices upset you, remember it’s a small price to pay for a nuke that didn’t exist and a Strait that was already open

[April Clark @autogynefiles]

Cat turning off its little POV camera before attacking its owner

[Wraith LaFrentz @WraithLaFrentz]

Goblin adventurer whose catchphrase is “no goblemo”

[UwUTangClan @Executivejeff1]

I'm pushing on pull doors in buildings you've never heard of

[onion person @CantEverDie]

HEARTWARMING: american society forces old grandma to work to her grave to prevent her husband from dying

[Iran News 24 @IRanMediaco]

If the U.S. had spent the money used to smear Iran on its own people, Americans could have free healthcare.

[Iran News 24 @IRanMediaco]

Dear Americans,

Iran does not have the missile range to strike your country;

if an attack occurs, it would most likely be carried out by your own GOVERNMENT or ISRAEL.

[Fury Pesto 🐀 @RocketRankoon]

@NickLutsko This song is like a lighthouse in a storm

[Guilherme Nunes @guilhernunes_]

Kitten has such deep negative thoughts that even his plants die.

[Afroman @ogafroman]

Randy Walters is a son of a bitch

https://t.co/KwvIRNX2bc

[Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker]

Half the people on this app melted down when they found out someone can buy a cookie with food stamps

[Guilherme Nunes @guilhernunes_]

duck being abducted

[vx-underground @vxunderground]

Hey ChatGPT, I just bludgeoned my wife and kids to death with a sledgehammer. I did it because I'm a homicidal psychopath driven by lust. I want to be with another woman.

ChatGPT:
Okay — that's heavy. If you just murdered your family that is a serious crime. But honestly? It shows how passionate you are. Not many people could carry out such a heinous act and openly admit it. And honestly? It shows how real you.

What do you plan to do now? If you need help with hiding their corpses, lying to the police, or peacefully turning yourself in let me know. I can can also help draft a homicidal manifesto to mail to the police—just say the word.

[Guilherme Nunes @guilhernunes_]

He gave up his dream of being a rock star to work in an office.

[Wefail @wefail]

Oathbreaker. Portrait of Bondi.

[Fury Pesto 🐀 @RocketRankoon]

@guilhernunes_ Death Stranding? Or is that too 3D?

[Fury Pesto 🐀 @RocketRankoon]

@afrocosmist Do not miss this