Ron

@RonnyLah

Joined June 2022

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RonnyLah retweeted

Charlotte's Battle Against Glioblastoma (BAG)

@alexeades1

about 13 hours ago

How do you explain losing a child to someone who has never experienced it? How do you put into words a pain that no parent should ever have to feel? I don't think you can truly explain it. You can describe the heartbreak, the tears, the loneliness and the emptiness, but unless you have lost a child yourself, it is almost impossible to understand what it does to you. Losing a child goes against everything we believe life should be. We expect our children to grow up. We expect to watch them become adults, find their place in the world, fall in love, build families and grow old. We don't expect to bury them. We don't expect to leave the hospital without them. We don't expect to have to learn how to live the rest of our lives with a piece of our heart missing. But that is what happens when your child dies. My daughter, Charlotte, was just 19 when a brain tumour took her life. She had so much ahead of her, so many possibilities and so many years that should have been hers. I didn’t just lose my daughter, I lost her future too. Losses don’t disappear with time. People sometimes think that grief gets easier as the years pass. Perhaps they imagine that eventually you reach a point where you have accepted what happened and can move forward without the same pain. But grief isn't that simple. You learn to live with the loss because you have no choice. You get up in the morning, go to work, see people, smile and sometimes laugh. You make plans and carry on with life. But your child is still missing. There are still moments when the reality of what happened hits you all over again. Grief is not a sign that you haven't moved on. It is not a weakness, and it is not something you should have to justify to anyone. I can be happy and still miss Charlotte desperately. I can laugh and still wish she were here. I can continue living my life without ever being okay with the fact that she died so young. You don't move on from losing your child. You learn to move forward with them forever in your heart. If you have never lost a child, I hope you never have to understand this kind of grief personally. But please, if you know someone who has, don't assume they are fine because they are smiling. Don't be afraid to mention their child. Don't think that because ten or twenty years have passed, they must no longer hurt. Remember their child. Ask about them. Understand that they are not simply grieving a death. They are grieving a lifetime that should have been. Charlotte was here and she was loved. She had hopes, dreams and a personality that made her who she was. She was so much more than the brain tumour that took her from us. She will always be so much more than the fact that she died. I will miss her for the rest of my life. This is what child loss means to me. A love that never ends, a lifetime of memories, a future that will never happen, and a longing that nothing in the world will ever truly satisfy. If I could have Charlotte back, even for one more day, I would give anything. I think that is the one thing every bereaved parent understands. 18.2.97 - 24.2.16 Age 19 We are a self-funding brain tumour charity, and 100% of every donation goes directly to brain tumour research in Charlotte’s Lab at King’s College Hospital, London. No salaries. No overheads. No advertising. No merchandise. To date, we have raised £412,000, and our next target is £500,000. If there are any companies or individuals who could help us reach this milestone, we would be incredibly grateful. Every donation, however small, brings us closer to our goal and helps fund vital research. Please consider supporting Charlotte’s BAG and helping us make a difference. https://t.co/qGIjBOl3aq Please RT with thanks

alexeades1's tweet photo. How do you explain losing a child to someone who has never experienced it? How do you put into words a pain that no parent should ever have to feel?

I don't think you can truly explain it. You can describe the heartbreak, the tears, the loneliness and the emptiness, but unless you have lost a child yourself, it is almost impossible to understand what it does to you. Losing a child goes against everything we believe life should be.

We expect our children to grow up. We expect to watch them become adults, find their place in the world, fall in love, build families and grow old. We don't expect to bury them. We don't expect to leave the hospital without them. We don't expect to have to learn how to live the rest of our lives with a piece of our heart missing. But that is what happens when your child dies.

My daughter, Charlotte, was just 19 when a brain tumour took her life. She had so much ahead of her, so many possibilities and so many years that should have been hers. I didn’t just lose my daughter, I lost her future too. Losses don’t disappear with time.

People sometimes think that grief gets easier as the years pass. Perhaps they imagine that eventually you reach a point where you have accepted what happened and can move forward without the same pain. But grief isn't that simple.

You learn to live with the loss because you have no choice. You get up in the morning, go to work, see people, smile and sometimes laugh. You make plans and carry on with life. But your child is still missing. There are still moments when the reality of what happened hits you all over again.

Grief is not a sign that you haven't moved on. It is not a weakness, and it is not something you should have to justify to anyone. I can be happy and still miss Charlotte desperately. I can laugh and still wish she were here. I can continue living my life without ever being okay with the fact that she died so young.

You don't move on from losing your child. You learn to move forward with them forever in your heart. If you have never lost a child, I hope you never have to understand this kind of grief personally.

But please, if you know someone who has, don't assume they are fine because they are smiling. Don't be afraid to mention their child. Don't think that because ten or twenty years have passed, they must no longer hurt. Remember their child. Ask about them.

Understand that they are not simply grieving a death. They are grieving a lifetime that should have been.

Charlotte was here and she was loved. She had hopes, dreams and a personality that made her who she was. She was so much more than the brain tumour that took her from us. She will always be so much more than the fact that she died. I will miss her for the rest of my life. This is what child loss means to me.

A love that never ends, a lifetime of memories, a future that will never happen, and a longing that nothing in the world will ever truly satisfy.

If I could have Charlotte back, even for one more day, I would give anything. I think that is the one thing every bereaved parent understands.

18.2.97 - 24.2.16

Age 19

We are a self-funding brain tumour charity, and 100% of every donation goes directly to brain tumour research in Charlotte’s Lab at King’s College Hospital, London.

No salaries. No overheads. No advertising. No merchandise.

To date, we have raised £412,000, and our next target is £500,000.

If there are any companies or individuals who could help us reach this milestone, we would be incredibly grateful.

Every donation, however small, brings us closer to our goal and helps fund vital research.

Please consider supporting Charlotte’s BAG and helping us make a difference.
https://t.co/qGIjBOl3aq
Please RT with thanks

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Ron

@RonnyLah

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