VERA LUX HAVISHAM

How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

[VERA LUX HAVISHAM @runaroundraq]

Not pregnant, just fat.

[VERA LUX HAVISHAM @runaroundraq]

@HOME_BASS @Allyssab2001 @BuzzFeed I’ll pretend you said Whetty Bite 😅

[Tig Notaro @TigNotaro]

My pronouns are, “Sir, please calm down.” 💁🏻‍♂️✨💋

[Taurus Groove @jiggyjayy2]

Now why was Cory Baxter bald at 8 ?

[charles entertainment cheese @jmurffff]

We need everybody to stop dating Pete Davidson until we figure out what’s going on

[demi adejuyigbe @electrolemon]

would’ve tweeted my Selena Gomez costume yesterday but i was busy explaining it to people and having them go “ohhh. alright yeah”

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

I love being single! dating 4 men but only liking one of them who in turn seems to be the only one who doesn’t really like me? a blast!

[Nerd Girl Says @Rachael_Conrad]

The sound that I made

[Sydney Battle @SydneyBattle]

chicken noodle is absolutely a bottom tier soup and some of u need to accept that

[magda, i guess @bunnyfoxes]

@DawnWatland @Kristen_Arnett

[Kristen Arnett @Kristen_Arnett]

man at this bar is describing in great detail exactly what a deviled egg is to his date, a woman who already told him twice that she’s had them before

[The Discourse Lover @Trillburne]

Sleeping is so feminine. "Ooh, let me get comfy and let down my guard so I can dream." We need a masculine alternative: some kind of restorative feat of strength and daring

[VERA LUX HAVISHAM @runaroundraq]

I am tired.

[Niccole Thurman @niccolethurman]

you ever think about how some of your grandpas were probably fuckboys

[Lauren Pokedoff @LaurenPokedoff]

Being vaccinated does NOT mean you can invite three men who you believe might be your father to your destination wedding in Greece without telling anyone.

[abby govindan @abbygov]

why does no one talk about how depression and anxiety can cause major memory loss?

[VERA LUX HAVISHAM @runaroundraq]

@Postmates_Help I did. No reply.

[VERA LUX HAVISHAM @runaroundraq]

What an absolute joke @Postmates is! They allow drivers to get away with anything while I am continuously charged for orders that are never delivered to me. How could a driver possibly deliver something 45 seconds after it’s picked up? Give me my $25 back!

[Phil H @OG_PH]

“i don’t care if she’s miss hairless america” - mista burns 😂

[The Mack 🦹🏾‍♀️ @Lima_Leem]

THE COATS. Folks are giving first season of Scandal.