Ryan Tovani

Eat the Strawberries

[Ryan Tovani @ryan_tovani]

@TheWarriorsTalk @JakeLFischer Splash 弟さん

[Ryan Tovani @ryan_tovani]

@VanLathan Bonds

[Ryan Tovani @ryan_tovani]

@FOXSports Embarrassing

[Ryan Tovani @ryan_tovani]

@FOXSports Wow this sucks

[miri @eggoslug]

the dead horse is beating me

[Ryan Tovani @ryan_tovani]

@joshhart @deray Let him celebrate

[Ryan Tovani @ryan_tovani]

@KNBR Oh so now you just wanna play ball?

[dr. cucumber @cucumberPhD]

(using two fries like a pair of chopsticks to pick up a third fry) What is the electoral college

[Ryan Tovani @ryan_tovani]

@KNBR His ERA heading towards 9.12

[Ryan Tovani @ryan_tovani]

@SFGiants2026 If only real photos of these players existed

[Ryan Tovani @ryan_tovani]

@BigFrisco415 @sfchronicle You’re not better than this

[Ryan Tovani @ryan_tovani]

@2irl4u Kinda nice having a human driver you can ask to drive away from danger

[Beautiful Normal Woman @SillyBWoman]

Everything I say is a joke Unless you agree And in that case Speak to me privately I have even crazier ideas

[Ryan Tovani @ryan_tovani]

@Phil_Lewis_ Nah that’s the alien transport from Contact

[Ryan Tovani @ryan_tovani]

@ESPNNBA His legs would definitely drag in the pool

[Ryan Tovani @ryan_tovani]

@JomboyMedia Weird. We’re not usually good at getting to third base.

[marqix ☆ @fwmarqix]

Me: sitting in a tiny ramen shop in Osaka, this is the best ramen I've ever had.

Chef: normal nod

Me: No seriously, this changed me spiritually.

Chef: normal nod

Me: I think I understand forgiveness now.

Chef: please eat before noodles become soft.

pause

Me: Sorry.

Chef: Foreign customers always do this.

Me: Do what?

Chef: Experience noodles too emotionally.

Me: That's fair honestly.

guy beside me suddenly joins conversation

Random businessman: Last year this ramen saved my marriage.

Me: WHAT?

Chef: annoyed sigh, Please stop telling people that.

Businessman: It is true.

Me: How does soup repair a relationship?

Businessman: My wife and I argued, then we ate here quietly, then things became less stupid.

Chef: That was your own emotional growth.

Businessman: The broth assisted.

Honestly I fully believed him too.

[Magdalene J. Taylor @magdajtaylor]

walking around outside is like scrolling with your body

[Softboy @softboywin]

starting the second half of your sandwich is like hell yeah baby let’s run it back

[Ryan Tovani @ryan_tovani]

@BryceLottos Would you pay 50k to swing and miss 100 pitches from Paul Skenes?