Ryan Tooke

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

Pirate: "I have moles on me back."

Doctor: "That's ok, they're benign."

Pirate: "Arrg, I thought there be ten."

[Liam A @l4anders226]

Camera phones have absolutely ruined us. Canny even go to the petrol station stick the pump up your arse and have a chug in peace any more.

[Ryan Tooke @ryantooke96]

40 pence for a sauce sachet in the chip shop is fucking criminal.

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

Me: Do you need to go outside?
Dog:
Me: Outside?
Dog:
Me: Do you need to pee?
Dog:
Me: Go poop? Go outside?
Dog:
Me: Ugh. Fine.
Dog:
Me: [gets coffee and gets comfy on couch]
Dog: You won’t believe this.

[Ryan Tooke @ryantooke96]

@rvbz What's your car and bedroom doing?

[Ryan Tooke @ryantooke96]

@rvbz @loungeunderwear Yes

[Ryan Tooke @ryantooke96]

@quornhub_ Putting Bury on the map

[Ryan Tooke @ryantooke96]

@rvbz Not all shops bud

[𝓐𝓶𝔂𝓙𝓪𝓭𝓮♱🕸⛓ @nerdywitchbitch]

@TomKiely_ Judge: please present the evidence
Chad: look at this photograph

[Fake Showbiz News @FakeShowbizNews]

Olly Murs says he’s confident he’s finally cracked the code for the food collection screen at McDonald’s.

“I believe the short numbers are for in-store customers and the long numbers are for deliveries,” he told reporters

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Shoutout to everyone who likes to seal a packet of biscuits by simply pushing the open end up against a wall.

[Sky Sports Darts @SkySportsDarts]

THIS IS INSANE!!! WHAT A LEG OF DARTS!!

MICHAEL SMITH HITS A NINE DARTER!! 🤯😲

[Thurlow Nunn Standen @tnstractors]

🔊 Our Suffolk Cultivation Demo Day is TOMORROW!

🗓️ DATE: 6th October 2022 (Tomorrow!)
⏰ TIME: 10am – 4pm
☕🌭 Refreshments & hot food
📍 LOCATION: R C Browne & Son, Fornham nr Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk
View location on Google Maps ➡️ https://t.co/FElYYQCcCj

#cultivation

[Thurlow Nunn Standen @tnstractors]

Thank you to everyone who joined us at our Cultivation Demo Day in Norfolk today.
Our next event is on Thursday in Suffolk, see you there 👉 https://t.co/YfitJRaNyj

#cultivation #demoday #workingdemo #farming #agriculture #farmer #suffolk #norfolk #ag

[Ryan Tooke @ryantooke96]

@rvbz @AsdaServiceTeam That'll teach them

[Ryan Tooke @ryantooke96]

@rvbz Great tweet

[Ryan Tooke @ryantooke96]

@rvbz Hell of a song