Salad🍃

Living in the future / / business inquiries: [email protected] / / ✨Pfp by my fiance @millkyou / / ❤️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️❤️

[Salad🍃 @saladkeeper]

@Lol8ball @meltheatist For shounen anime this is an objective fact btw. Japanese people don't speak like that

[Boob Jobs, Founder and CEO @cool_hot_woman]

I genuinely think that if this was the culture where I lived I would fucking kill myself.

[Salad🍃 @saladkeeper]

With respect why can’t yall just let people like stuff 😭😭 if you still believe cringe exists in 2026 you are either 13 or mentally still 13

[stan 🌱shadowbringers @editorstan_]

with respect genuinely who watches this shit

[David Jones @djonesuk]

@FFmpeg @ClaudeDevs @AnthropicAI It's like a drug dealer giving out free samples.

[Salad🍃 @saladkeeper]

/gen I don’t think English dubs are that bad on average, I just think certain voice actors suck terribly (despite being great in other mediums like games!) and Funimation as a company is totally fine with mediocrity (it is all based on nepotism)

[PK🍓🍉 @PKontwt]

The one time where the dub is better

[Salad🍃 @saladkeeper]

@WhatleyLeague Genuine malicious bots disguised as humans these lot

[Salad🍃 @saladkeeper]

When will we realize this is a bot account with chatgpt stories man

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I mentioned that my garage door was making a sound.

An American immediately said, "I got a guy."

He did not ask what the sound was. He did not ask what kind of door. He produced a guy on the basis of the word garage.

I asked who the guy was.

He said, "Just a guy."

He did not have a company name. He had a first name and a phone number in his phone saved as "Mike Garage."

That is the contact name. Mike Garage. As though Garage is his surname. As though there is a family.

I asked how he found this guy.

"My brother-in-law used him."

I asked if the brother-in-law was satisfied.

He thought about it. Then he said, "He's still standing."

The house is still standing. That is the entire review.

Inside I said: THEY DO NOT KEEP RECORDS. THEY KEEP LOYALTIES.

I called Mike Garage. He answered from inside a vehicle. There was wind. He said he could come Tuesday between eleven and four.

Between eleven and four. A window of five hours. In my country this would be a scandal. Here it is generous. He gave me a window at all. Some guys do not give you a window. Some guys say "Tuesday" and that is the whole appointment.

He came at 1:40.

He fixed it in twenty minutes. He charged me less than I expected and he did not take a card, only cash or an app I had never heard of.

Before leaving he looked at my water heater, which I had not mentioned, and said, "That's gonna go."

I asked when.

"Couple years."

I asked what I should do.

He said, "I'll give you a guy."

He gave me a guy. Mike Garage has a guy. The guy has a guy. There is a network beneath this country made entirely of men named after their function, and none of them advertise, and all of them are busy.

Inside I said: THERE IS A SECOND NATION HERE. IT HAS NO SIGNS. IT IS ENTERED ONLY BY INTRODUCTION.

I have been given four guys since.

I have a guy for trees.

I did not know I needed a guy for trees.

I have trees now, apparently. They are my responsibility. A man named Rick told me so and then left.

[Salad🍃 @saladkeeper]

@LAFsketches @bbnomula I don’t think he cares abt you parasocial bro he has enough money to send 9 generations to college

[Salad🍃 @saladkeeper]

What empire has Israel survived lol? Yall aren’t even a legitimate state

[Israel ישראל @Israel]

We’ve survived empires. We can survive a comments section.

[Salad🍃 @saladkeeper]

@serinide How I look at alcohol after already taking the candy that makes me happy

[Snarl | Kech @IceJJKech]

Me: Siri, call gurt

Siri: Calling gurt.... 🤖

gurt: yo

[Salad🍃 @saladkeeper]

Cultural appropriation

[Clavicular @Clavicular0]

Makeupmaxing is giga legit, top 3 looksmaxes but normies will cope and jesters will max.

[Salad🍃 @saladkeeper]

@alrightcarina Spider-Man where’s my FUCKING MONEY

[Salad🍃 @saladkeeper]

@bonevoid Wear Hawaiian button up instead of Tshirt. You’ll still give off bottom energy but at least you’ll be comfy and stylish

[Salad🍃 @saladkeeper]

@sunsetoverroses @veil_eblan You go to a trusted small business in America just like you should anywhere else in the world

[Salad🍃 @saladkeeper]

Getting a job post-grad is basically like dark souls boss bc you only need to win once

[Salad🍃 @saladkeeper]

@DestroyedVaran Why are you pretending like Italy hasn’t been hot and humid since the days before Rome? French education system really fails Europe every day

[Salad🍃 @saladkeeper]

Wait so should I kms or enjoy my shitty life? Man I hate conflicting instructions..

[ban alt @killelonm_sk]

@saladkeeper I gave some pretty normal advice and now you're being a dick actually kill yourself or whatever I guess enjoy your shitty life

[Salad🍃 @saladkeeper]

@t7ojanh0rse I mean it did shut down any shadow of a doubt that he was a bot, so I really can’t fault it

[Salad🍃 @saladkeeper]

*objectively fixable issue and/or situation that was easily avoidable*

[Salad🍃 @saladkeeper]

@giganotosourus Mb I guess I read “god forbid” as a literal