Jose Salgado

[julia @juumelo_]

sorry babe no kissing rn the gc is active and I need to get a joke in before they change topics

[Hoodville @Hoodville_]

when im picking my son up from school and i see him making the latina girl laugh & hit him on the arm

[VEE @VEEd60bm]

we gotta define bad bitches cause it’s alotta confusion around this bitch

[Oliver Klozoff, MBA @Oliverkballin]

Barber said stay out of trouble as I was leaving. He knows he cooked today

[Nick🦁 @DETNick_]

Front 9 vs back 9

[trap dad @dude_gang]

blowing on someone’s eye to get an eyelash out counts as a body

[Investing Addict @InvestingAddict]

How that prenup looks at you when the stock market is pumping

[DIMES @Diimees_]

everytime a btch say it's strict ova here I go ova there and do wtf i want

[Cryron Lue @StevyFranchise_]

Stressing out a bad bitch really is so fucking fun my goodness 😭

[heh @coldinchrome]

It's officiallyHispanic Heritage Month pls only refer to me as mi amor, mi rey, guapo, papacito, papi, & cariño

[GHOST @LordGhost____]

i remember i swallowed a penny when i was 6. i been money hungry ever since

[j.b. exte @jbexte]

sometimes i worry that i only drink mexican beers to impress mexicans. then i take a sip of mexican beer and realize that the only mexican im trying to impress is the mexican deep inside myself. the inner mexican that all white boys have. gracias for reading

[ayoswrld @tomiwa_ttw]

my type

[Wisconsin Sass @WisconsinSass]

Fuck an age gap relationship the real problem is a thermostat gap relationship. If you keep your place 70°+ do not invite me into your terrarium.

[͏20 @justbafojoh]

When you're out with your side and your main texts you "She's cute":

[Teresa @tessy_1088]

How it feels when he says "don't worry, I'll get it sorted out" and then actually sorts it out:

[River Oaks Problems @RiverOaksPrblms]

Pappasito’s manager telling Sienna Plantation local mom that they just ran out of shredded cheese for her fajitas.

[Druthers Haver @6thgrade4ever]

regular math has fallen to the machines. girl math is humanity's last stronghold

[˙𐃷˙ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 @jjareeeeeddd]

cuando me quiere dar un beso pero yo estoy viendo Alcaraz vs Shelton 🎾