I am committed to not making this mistake
My children will inherit a complete and total onboarding experience onto life and an unconditional lifelong mentorship
I will do everything in my power to enrich them into escape velocity, and will still keep going until I die!
I thought it strange - my parents never really gave me advice growing up. Nothing about career, finance, romance, even small things like what to read or how to dress. It was as if they felt it was not their place.
What I learned since is that this is absurdly common
I loathe and resent this sort of highly controlled environment.
I need to be able to terraform my space on a whim. This space is anti-pliable and anti-malleable.
A pornographic, damnable, bastardized facsimile and counterfeit of the "well oiled machine"
At root of almost all of your social skill issues is belief you're burdening people. Self-image problem
If you just give 0 fucks and have fun with it, everyone loves that energy. And if they don't they are grumpy & lost. Key is u genuinely gotta not give a fuck, not pretend to not give a fuck (because if ur pretending, u still WANT a result, and that neediness will show)
Can train yourself to believe you're a blessing to any conversation because you bring fun & good vibes. You also bring permission for others to be themselves because you're yourself. And who wouldn't want that?
Then you genuinely cease to believe you're ever a burden. You believe you're genuine value, so why wouldn't you share it, at any moment
small phenomenology update since people think i wirehead all day, i haven't really jhana'd in about 4yrs, pleasure is there essentially all the time now as a sort of background joy of wholeness and connection with awareness itself rather than visceral bliss, no center, it's been like that for years now, i basically just work all the time to try to be helpful to the world, my wellbeing needs seem mostly just met, maybe 5% variance day to day. i dont think either extreme is ideal, but i'm much closer to maxing out altruism side of things to maxing out wireheading do nothing side of things. i dont really do drugs or anything ever, anything that changes my state from baseline (eg almost any drug) generally feels worse, bc baseline is so high. might do mdma to clear out body energy stuff once a year, it doesn't necessarily feel "better" than baseline, but it is helpful for plasticity and ifs type stuff or relational things
body still has normal needs, there's still normal phobias and stuff that used to exist, fear of public speaking and such. i thought those would have to go before wellbeing basically independent of conditions came, but that's not the case. ifs type stuff still useful, can still have anxious feelings or sad feelings or whatever and feel them very clearly but they don't bring any suffering. you're held by a sense of loving awareness at all times that never changes even in dreams, over many years. energy drains much slower, don't have tons of energy but also almost never low bc it just doesn't go down very fast like it used to. it'd be nice to fix the long tail of random things, but they're not really required to solve personal suffering, to a surprising extent. the suffering was caused by clenching, and with practice you can stop doing that. then all the stuff still happens, most of your problems still exist (it solves some automatically), but things feel fundamentally good and enough
Why I start work before 5am:
1) I wake up ~4am without an alarm normally.
2) My 1st mentor was a gym owner. He wanted to provide for family & be home for them. So he worked 4am to 4pm. I learned from him & it stuck w me.
3) I like it better than later.
PS: Do whatever u want.
> In the standard model of behavior, an excuse is a result. You are anxious; therefore, you cannot socialize. The cause (anxiety) produces the effect (avoidance).
Adler inverted this vector. He argued that the goal (avoiding the risk of rejection) recruits the means (anxiety). You generate the anxiety in order to avoid the task.
To Adler, an excuse is a Safeguarding Tendency. It is a structural load-bearing wall designed to protect the "Fictional Final Goal" (the self-ideal) from threats to the identity.
https://t.co/aBfzReoRQk
There's a colossal planet-sized dissonance happening where the women screaming about "Teach boys to not rape!" and "End Rape culture now!", suddenly find lots of nuance when it comes to their own rapist, in fact they might circle back to have sex with him and it's complicated.
the fascinating thing about women complaining about this tweet is that the implication of it is that men actually think rape is so bad that women should, at a bare minimum, stop associating with their alleged rapist yet women think it's making light of rape.