Samurai I Amurai

weird up from the beard up

[Samurai I Amurai @samistheman]

Lost a vape and a pair of sunglasses in Mohican River but that's a small price to pay for a beautiful day outdoors

[💆🏾‍♂️ @BabylonFace]

He hopped in the studio and said “some tall Israeli is running this rap shit.” In 2004 back when they really would’ve put a plunger in your ass for talking like that.

That man overachieved in the entertainment industry when you think about it.

[Samurai I Amurai @samistheman]

Was told I was getting a 5% raise effective 5/21 but last 2 paychecks were the same as before. You know what that means #notworkingtiltheyunfuckmymoney

[wyatt dunkin @WyattDuncan]

i spent many many cold winter nights working on this out in the desert! it’s very much an adam wingard movie and i’m sure you’ll dig this if you’re a fan of the guest

[Samurai I Amurai @samistheman]

As an avid horror movie lover and long time mental health haver, it's more like "I love that movie it made me FEEL"

[cory @coolmathgame_]

horror movie lovers be like i love that movie it made me feel fucking awful and horrible and really scared

[Zach @ZachTheRide3D]

You all gotta learn to raise your voice. At the very begging of my Backrooms showing someone turned their flashlight on and it hit My face and I very loudly just said “turn the light off.” Whole movie it was silence. From everyone. Set the tone.

[Samurai I Amurai @samistheman]

I think the thing many people forget about movie theatre etiquette is that telling someone to "shut the fuck up" is an appropriate first response to any disruption after the trailers are over

[old tom @culture_coffin]

when i went to see Send Help two boomers walked in over an hour into the movie and began telling us at full volume we were in their seats (we weren’t) then went to the next row back and tried the same thing (still wrong) a hero 3 rows back finally said “lady shut the fuck UP”

[Samurai I Amurai @samistheman]

I do still get a fair amount of use out of the Halloween sound effects record, grandma really knew how to curate a vibe

[Samurai I Amurai @samistheman]

When my grandparents passed I thought I'd inherit a sick record collection but it was just a bunch of Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass and holiday-themed sound effect records

[Berwyn Choobs @sabatonfan69]

My girlfriend: You know that band you’re always talking about?

I perk up: Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass?

Her: What? No. Band of brothers? I got one

Kirk Acevedo: Hey man happy birthday it’s me Kirk Acevedo from band of brothers. I was in oz too.

Me: …Yeah man I know

Kirk: Damian Lewis smells great

Me: Ok

[Samurai I Amurai @samistheman]

Mid-air rolling thunder KO... Inject this straight into my veins

[Kinen @JetKinen]

The amount of talent in "The Furious" can't be understated. Besides the main cast, like @DerekBrocks highlights, theres a large contingent of very talented Thai stuntmen in it
The fellow with the afro who plays the ninja baddie in the insanely underrated BKO: Bangkog Knockout

[❥ 𝑪𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒔 ❥ @tonyhawktruther]

Is it cool if my buddy Contorted Filbert comes

[caught hantavirus on a swingers cruise @abs_sweetmarie]

If he’s Cheritto: safe, sensible.
If he’s Wardell: now we’re playing baseball.

[Samurai I Amurai @samistheman]

Curry Barker sounds like what you'd call someone trying to drum up business outside their new Indian restaurant

[Samurai I Amurai @samistheman]

Just saw the most beautiful red headed woman drive by with her border Collie riding shotgun in her convertible BMW (vanity plate: MIMOSA) and I felt something change in me

[Zac 🍒 Compact Disc HQ @World0fEcho]

Happy 60th anniversary, Pet Sounds
May 16th, 1966

[Josh Raby @JoshRaby]

It’s because the formerly cool website where everyone used to spend their time telling jokes and bullshitting about movies got purchased by a human sinkhole then turned into a machine that hands out nickels to the dumbest people on earth whenever they issue the wettest fart

[Project Hail Gooch @bobgoochman]

we’re experiencing the longest time without an MCU movie outside of covid and the box office is returning like wildlife in Chernobyl

[Alex @midsmoker34]

Investors. Contact me

[Benny Feldman @Feldfrog]

When I have a hard time rotating a cube in my mind, I just imagine it on top of a lazy susan