Sara Schwartz

word herder/senior editor for special projects at @aarp. previously @usatoday @wapoexpress 🌈

[pinkie @pinkamaniaa]

“are you okay?” oh my god no but for the purposes of this conversation yes i’m fine

[Sean Morrow @snmrrw]

they’re selling millennial-branded emergency radiation exposure medication (pills you take when nuclear war starts to increase your odds of survival) with buy-now-pay-later options.

[SP @sspencerukk]

They’re calling it the most Friday Thursday on record

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

stupid odysseus wanting to keep eating the lotus, even though it’s poison, just because he loves the taste 😂😂😂 anyway back to my aspartame & caffeine

[𝓐 ⭑ @ayojoestar]

Words that should exist for ADHD experiences but don't. So I made them. A glossary.

[holden m. accountable @noahpasaran]

Friend,
It’s Odysseus. We’re WINNING on the plains of Troy, but we still haven’t received your donation.
Can you chip in just 27 drachmae to make sure our crew can get back to Ithaca?

[Veggie @bigboybokchoy]

The reason you’re unhappy is that you haven’t found the right thing to buy. There’s something out there you can purchase that will make this all go away

[Starbucks Workers United @SBWorkersUnited]

🚨Have you felt sick after handling Starbucks’ silica-based blending powder? If you're a barista, reach out to us.

If you're a Starbucks customer, we urge you to STOP BUYING STARBUCKS until the company finalizes union contracts with the protections and improvements we need.

[turbomander (purple era) @turbomander]

yooo I can’t believe the guy who shot me in Reno is doing a live concert here at Folsom prison! I can’t wait to hear the complicated and tragic explanation as to why he sent me into a near-death comatose state. I think once I know I’ll be ready to forgive not only him, but myself

[Chalant @OnlyHanz_]

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I never wanted to wake up early

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

Those dogs that played poker probably just use gambling apps now and that makes me sad

[Jared Gilman @realJaredGilman]

“odyssey this” “odyssey that” u odyssey a therapist

[AnechoicMedia @AnechoicMedia_]

One of those perfect Mike Judge moments in Office Space was depicting office workers trudging through a ditch to go from their workplace to the restaurant next door, because the environment was so hostile to pedestrians and car-oriented.

I used to work in a building that looked exactly like this, and soon learned it was designed with no thought to its surroundings. It had no sidewalk connections or crosswalks despite nearby bus stops and restaurants. To walk to lunch I had to hop through a ditch just like this one. A cluster of empty buildings surrounded by vast deserts of hot parking lots.

[✒️ @Literariium]

I hear that

[More Perfect Union @MorePerfectUS]

The Trump administration approved three new “forever chemical”-based pesticides last week for use on food crops, including corn and soybeans — the most widely grown crops in the country — as well as wheat, kiwi, oats, peas, broccoli and coffee.

These new chemicals — diflufenican, epyrifenacil, trifludimoxazin — have all been quietly approved without a standard press release.

Trump approved other PFAS-based pesticides cyclobutrifluram and isocycloseram earlier this year, and the first food use of chlormequat — which is already found in 90% of Americans’ blood.

An EPA scientist wrote in the approval documents that at least one of these new PFAS-based pesticides is “suggestive evidence of carcinogenic potential.”

These approvals come just days after the Supreme Court sided with chemical maker Bayer and the Trump administration in limiting Americans’ ability to sue pesticide companies for harms linked to pesticides.

Now, Americans will have a harder time holding companies accountable for the cancer-causing effects of their pesticides.

[Erik Anderson @AwardsWatchErik]

Haven’t seen her once on my timeline today, need to correct that

[vids that go hard @vidsthatgohard]

It’s officially “put it in reverse terry” season 😂😂

[Sara Schwartz @saraschwartz]

Nextdoor is being v chill about the D.C. fireworks tomorrow

[rated ✧* @imyrated]

this can’t be the same heat george washington was wearing a wig in

[hera @shiningdaisies]

top reasons to do something:
1. funsies
2. spite