Rah Elizabeth

In the wise words of Bo Burnham, “Once you have a debit card, give up.”

[Rah Elizabeth @SarryPotterr]

Be kind today. There is still good in this world. There is still good in this country. Let this inspire us to show it all the more.

[tricia. @trishadelphia]

i cannot express to yall how insane it was to watch this in person

[Empress 🖤 @drrdemon]

While I was getting tattooed over the weekend, there was a No Kings protest going by the shop and a Ukrainian artist just sighs and says, “your people need to learn about fire”

[yaya 🍉 @yayathehun]

ketanji brown jackson, you are the only worthy supreme court justice. the rest of y’all can choke.

[Rah Elizabeth @SarryPotterr]

Good for him. Live your best life, buddy. Nipples are lopsided though

[Remarks @remarks]

JUST IN: 🇺🇸 Former DHS Secretary Kristi Noem's husband exposed as a cross-dresser, Daily Mail reports.

[Absolutely Hammered @ah_pod]

"you killed the man, but not the idea." and it's just Nick Castellanos / this entire lineup.

[Phillies fan. @PhilliesGuy44]

🚨 The Philadelphia Phillies have been eliminated from postseason contention

[𝕽𝖆𝖈𝖍 ♡ (rachleahx) @xrachaelxoxo]

Rest now, Olaf, we have the watch, and we’ll see you in Valhalla

[amanda! ✩‧˚౨ৎ˚✩‧ @amandaydreaming]

you could be having the worst day and then here come the philadelphia phillies to make it worse

[Tim @trouble_man90]

Democrats won!

[CNN Breaking News @cnnbrk]

Democrat Emily Gregory will win a special state House election in a Palm Beach district that includes President Donald Trump's Florida home of Mar-a-Lago, CNN's Decision Desk projects, adding another special election win to a recent string of victories around the country for Democrats. https://t.co/djhivvylX0

[therealdavearnold @therealdavearn1]

Opposing counsel: Nothing further, your honor.

The Court: Cross examination?

Me: Yes, thank you. Good afternoon, sir. Just a few questions. Why must you turn this Court into a house of lies?

[aba @theabaverse]

Chicken caeser…but does chicken …hear her?….does chicken understand her?….does chicken tender….?

[ً @hudcocaine]

Never forget what you’re fighting for

[Isaac @isaacturnersong]

For sale dead horse never beat

[larrikin @HELLLLHOOOOLE]

Got my horse to water. Now for the easy part

[َ @4NGELWING]

all quiet on the frontal lobe

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

The Afroman Trial.

-Cops raid Afromans house for bullshit reasons.
-Steal money, break his door, fuck his house up.
-No criminality found whatsoever, no charges at all pressed on Afroman.
-Afroman spends the next 3 years making songs that make fun of all the officers involved by name, even using footage of the raid from his own CCTV cameras.
-Songs had titles like "Randy Walters is a son of a bitch" and "Lick Em Low Lisa" accusing one of the officers of being a lesbian and sleeping with the other officers wives.
-During the raid one officer looked like he was about to eat some lemon pound cake sitting on Afromans counter, Afroman made a whole album calling the officer fat.
-The cops get mad and file a lawsuit for defamation.
-Afroman turns up to court in a whole American flag suit.
-Officers performatively mald and cry while listening to the songs really trying to oversell how badly the songs upset them.
-One officer was suing because Afroman made a whole song about him saying he was fucking the officers wife. When the officer was asked if Afroman was really fucking his wife, he said "I don't know". Nuking his own case and establishing that there is a non-zero chance that Afroman might actually be fucking his wife.
-As his only witness for the trial, Afroman brought a deputies EX FUCKING WIFE.
-The jury ruled completely in favour of Afroman.

This entire thing has been a great win for free speech and absolutely fucking hilarious.

[Rah Elizabeth @SarryPotterr]

BREAKING

[Leading Report @LeadingReport]

BREAKING: Kim Jong-un has won North Korea's parliamentary elections with 99.93% of the vote.

[Luke Arcaini @ArcainiLuke]

A LOT OF YOU ARE REEEEALLLLY QUIET.

BRYCE. HARPER. TIE. GAME.

[GAYONCÉ 🎠 @nobianotnovia]

The treble clef and Sammies guitar… his braider is goated 🔥🔥