Sazi

[Sazi @sazibhakti]

“The US has won the World Series 40 times in a row!”
“And what’s the World Series?”
“Is a championship series based in the United States and Canada.”
“We’ve really shows the world who’s the best...”

[Sazi @sazibhakti]

“Collecting” is just hoarding for rich people.

[Sazi @sazibhakti]

If middle earth had to deal with 2020, I’d imagine it would go something like this... #VoteEarly #VoteByMail2020 https://t.co/HDdqkw1sQM

[Sazi @sazibhakti]

“I’m not yawning, my mouths just blinking.” #sleepyinrehearsal #comebacks

[Sazi @sazibhakti]

Life is a one person escape room.

[Sazi @sazibhakti]

My new happy place are the bathrooms at LaGuardia airport. #LaGuardiaairport #thisremodel #icouldlickthefloors

[Sazi @sazibhakti]

As a vegetarian, when I bite into food that tastes delicious, I panic that I might be accidentally eating meat. #veggiefortheearth #meatistastybutwillruinusall #ithinkijustatemeat

[Sazi @sazibhakti]

.@McConnellPress @speakerpelosi Support policies that protect our planet before it’s too late. Your inaction Will not be tolerated. Act now, or stop representing us. https://t.co/ugIHzCyDTk

[Sazi @sazibhakti]

Is DJ replay the proper alternative to spank bank? #justasking

[Sazi @sazibhakti]

I specifically ride on the train cars that are covered in our planet advertising. I’ve never felt happy riding the CTA #thanksnetflix #OurPlanet #betterthantheholidaytrain

[Jim Jefferies Show @jefferiesshow]

It’s #NationalFosterCareMonth. For every retweet of this tweet, we will donate $1 – up to $10K – to the organization @KidsInSpotlight. Even better, @ComedyCentral will match that donation, and @jimjefferies will personally match the donation as well. https://t.co/1a1cf1Kasn

[Sazi @sazibhakti]

“How do you know you’ve hit rock bottom?”

“You stop digging.”

[Sazi @sazibhakti]

Being a sloppy reader is way more fun. I read condoms and cocktails, instead of condos and cocktails. #condomsandcocktailisabetterpairing

[Sazi @sazibhakti]

@kelseyfehlberg How young...?

[Sazi @sazibhakti]

It’s hard to know what you want until someone else has it... #thatlooksgood #unsatisfied

[Sazi @sazibhakti]

“Chickens stand up to slaughter after discovering chick-fil-a supports anti-lbgtq organizations. Want to be slaughtered on the right side of history.”

[Sazi @sazibhakti]

@sarahbrizek You’re welcome

[Sazi @sazibhakti]

If the hole in your pants is bigger than the hole you were born with, time for new pants. OR fun underwear. Or no underwear... #howlongcaniwearthese

[Sazi @sazibhakti]

If my father was young Rob Lowe, my life and therapy sessions would be confusing... #whyishesohandsome

[Sazi @sazibhakti]

Today I was referred to as, “my only single friend.” Cool cool cool... #fuck