em

she/her

[em @schriefpants]

A student left her purse in my room this morning and came back to get it and said, “I’m sorry, I have 1 brain cell left. It’s just bouncing around in there like the DVD symbol. I only get to remember something when it lands in the corner”

[em @schriefpants]

something I didn't realize would happen when I got a nephew was how much I'd end up calling my brother daddy

[Taylor Garrison @mr_garrison44]

I hate when I hear people say they wish for something to hurry up, every moment is a precious gift it sucks that we are growing up so enjoy

[nathan @nathanrobii]

i think a solution to the historical accuracy problem for the odyssey would be to set it in the 1930s in the south and change their outfits to something like prison uniforms, and maybe cast someone like george clooney instead of matt damon

[em @schriefpants]

@prescotttyler :(

[betty elms @elizabethbelsky]

The gag is that after all that clowning over half a joke in the Girls pilot, Lena Dunham did basically end up being the voice of her generation

[HBO @HBO]

On this day in 2013, Marnie Michaels blessed us with her unforgettable cover of “Stronger” on #Girls.

[em @schriefpants]

@DieLaughLove mosslax 🥺🥰

[em @schriefpants]

bc why is the mountain dew commercial still stuck in my head

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

there are television shows that are only visible to women with classpass

[fawn @fawnncel]

spongebob i love you so much man. thanks for being you

[em @schriefpants]

do right wing articles get paywalled or is it just liberals who have to pay to read an article

[Gorica @GoricaLoL]

Didn't expect to sign some Teemos this weekend 😳

It was awesome meeting so many of you - really appreciate everyone who stopped by to talk about Teemo!

Shoutout to Steven @DieLaughLove and Won @Dokgebi, see you guys around 🫡

[em @schriefpants]

why did god open a window when that door closed. it's a door. it has hinges to open and close

[em @schriefpants]

@satchelmaloney agree on the Mrs point but I just rewatched yesterday w subtitles and it is gandy

[em @schriefpants]

one of the great indignities of the modern age is the lack of a dial tone. the call drops and I'm talking to my home screen like some kinda moron

[em @schriefpants]

Toby from the office is just Beau is Afraid

[james @jms_tny]

i love when people seem genuinely disgruntled by housewives’ behavior it’s like getting pissed about squidward’s bad attitude

[em @schriefpants]

@prescotttyler we should go back to chromecast

[em @schriefpants]

I just think that if I had a booming voice and took a personal call in the break room, I would finish that loud call in the break room and not bring it to my desk