jÏnzæsckhkö ↗️

Friend of the show.
Twitter's BIGGEST locked account.
Inventor of the famous 'Joke of Y'kréme' and star of multiple comic book spin-offs.
I tweet my funnies.

[jÏnzæsckhkö ↗️ @sckhko]

To anyone currently suffering from paranoia

I see you.

I want you to know that I am right behind you.

[jÏnzæsckhkö ↗️ @sckhko]

Your woodchucks were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should

[jÏnzæsckhkö ↗️ @sckhko]

How do you know it's a him?

[Bharatwasi 🦸🏻 @Redd_flaggg]

Body is so iconic you don’t even need his face to recognise him !!

[jÏnzæsckhkö ↗️ @sckhko]

@Laird_of_Jura They had a rematch in the 1990s

[jÏnzæsckhkö ↗️ @sckhko]

@DyeWorksPrint I'd like to see straight noodles, but wiggly chopsticks.

[jÏnzæsckhkö ↗️ @sckhko]

@lookayloo With the porn I make, people stop themselves from watching it.

[jÏnzæsckhkö ↗️ @sckhko]

@EmoPhilips Link is missing

[Michael Brogan ツ @MichaelTBrogan]

Saw a book in the bookstore called “Ventriloquism for Dummies”. Shouldn’t it be for ventriloquists?

[jÏnzæsckhkö ↗️ @sckhko]

In an unexpected shift to the right, I saw my 'always YES' SNP supporting friend wearing a "No Scotland, No Party" T-shirt

[jÏnzæsckhkö ↗️ @sckhko]

Fuck nose

[narsa. @rathor7_]

Why can't we all have one big hole instead of two holes in nose? It would make breathing much easier

[Emo Philips @EmoPhilips]

While I am, of course, rooting for them, we should definitely double check their results

[jÏnzæsckhkö ↗️ @sckhko]

@KyleBeautweet Your stuff is amazing and parents should demand you teach their kids.

Kits love spew, and poop, and snot, and injury detail, and all that stuff.

[jÏnzæsckhkö ↗️ @sckhko]

what took it so long?

[BBC Scotland News @BBCScotlandNews]

Baby sloth born in Scotland for the first time https://t.co/5nr6e3PgVD

[BBC Scotland News @BBCScotlandNews]

Baby sloth born in Scotland for the first time https://t.co/5nr6e3PgVD

[jÏnzæsckhkö ↗️ @sckhko]

"Sorry, I have to drop off. I have another meeting."

is the new

"I'm taking a little break from Twitter"

[💫𝓓𝓮𝓶𝓸💫🪐 @Demo4fhs]

Interviewer: Can you explain the gap in your CV?
Me: I spent 6 hours formatting it in Google Docs and you opened it in Word.

[jÏnzæsckhkö ↗️ @sckhko]

The Russell Re-Brand

[jÏnzæsckhkö ↗️ @sckhko]

Jesus takes your temperature orally.

[jÏnzæsckhkö ↗️ @sckhko]

Hey, as I get older I too need massive ball room.

[Awni Hannun @awnihannun]

Adopting Claude speak in my regular life, episode 1:

Partner: Did you do the dishes tonight?
Me: Yes they're done.
Partner: Why are they still dirty?
Me: You're right to push back. I didn't actually do them.