Selene Atherton

[Jennifer Wright @JenAshleyWright]

What’s beautiful is that we all, as a society, immediately know who she’s talking about. https://t.co/eQtPFxWsZR

[Leini @Lolaynee]

So apparently Prince Harry and Meghan Markle met "through mutual friends" so I'm just throwing it out there that if any friends know a prince - I'm in.

[Bess Kalb @bessbell]

GOP: NO ABORTION!
Us: Yikes ok then birth control?
GOP: NOOO
Us: Wait so maternity care?
GOP: LOL FUCK U!
Us: Childcare?
GOP: ASSAULT RIFLES

[Dave King @DaveKingThing]

i mean i fucking love pizza but if pizza violently killed 30,000 people a year i'd be like okay maybe none of us should have pizza

[Selene Atherton @seleneath]

Logic Prof: if you live in the real world, then this is a valid argument: men are always wrong and women are always right... I agree, valid.

[Selene Atherton @seleneath]

If she thinks elementary is that bad wait till she ends up in Uni https://t.co/bhnlKBlnGv

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Me: Ready for school?

7-year-old: No one ever is.

Touché.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

[kids attempt to drag each other off the couch]

Me: You can't do that. This isn't United.

[Scary Mommy @ScaryMommy]

Grab a tissue. Actually, grab the whole box. https://t.co/wHC2i4EGKa

[Samantha Bee @realsambee]

Sending Trudeau to stand attractively next to Trump while speaking French is actually the closest thing Canada has to saying “fuck you.”

[Naheed Nenshi @nenshi]

When Muslims hear of a death, we say Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un - We belong to God, and to him we return. I say for Quebec tonight.

[Justin Trudeau @JustinTrudeau]

Let’s talk about mental health so more people ask for help when they need it. RTs send 5¢ to support mental health programs. #BellLetsTalk

[Naheed Nenshi @nenshi]

Today is #BellLetsTalk day. Ending the stigma around mental health starts with talking to one another and supporting each other.

[Bell Let's Talk @Bell_LetsTalk]

It’s Bell Let’s Talk Day! Help end the stigma surrounding mental illness – every tweet with #BellLetsTalk counts! @heylandsberg

[Scary Mommy @ScaryMommy]

‘Locker Room Talk’? Not Any Locker Room I’ve Ever Been In by @dadandburied: https://t.co/AJpcdv8PJS

[Selene Atherton @seleneath]

Best part about the first day of school is watching the noobs scurry around like chickens with no heads. #poorbaby

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Me: A stake through the heart kills vampires

6-year-old: A stake through the heart kills anyone

Thanks for ruining a genre of movies, kid.