The Pun Shop

Put your pony vair your mouse is.

I once went to a party for a bit of fun and a few drinks. I got neither. The punch line was too long.

[The Pun Shop @sepunshop]

Me: Mum? When I was growing up, did you distract me on purpose to avoid conflict?
My mum: Cookie?

[The Pun Shop @sepunshop]

Hi guys. Sorry for not tweeting in a while. I've been absinthe, but now I'm in the spirit.

[The Pun Shop @sepunshop]

@Support I really tried but I can't seem to reactivate my other account @p_martinussen. So please fix it or delete it. All the best.

[The Pun Shop @sepunshop]

Til alle mine danske venner. Jeg bruger kun denne profil til pjank. Følg mig gerne på p_martinussen hvor tonen er mere seriøs.

[The Pun Shop @sepunshop]

@aurevoirdogs I DM'ed u. Did u see?

[FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud]

- A cheese tweet you say?

*thinks caerphilly
*this could brie good
*drafts a tweet

- It's gouda but I can do feta.
Wait!
Send

[The Pun Shop @sepunshop]

@romeotakeme Or writing. Or retweeting for that matter.

[Skinnie Talls @SkinnieTalls]

Being happy is the biggest fuck you of all.

[The Pun Shop @sepunshop]

Oh Nice! So sad.

#FranceAttack

[ᵇ ᵒ ᵒ ᵗ ʰ ʸ @BoothysTweets]

[at the freak show]

Kid: Mom, look at the freak, he's scary.

Me: I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE DAMMIT!

[Irfan Sajjad @sajjad_irfan]

I'm a social vegetarian. I avoid meet 😋

[The Cultured Ruffian @CulturedRuffian]

MY LIFE SUMMED UP:

[The Pun Shop @sepunshop]

Apparently, I have a small army of lightly dressed women followers.

Should have joined Twitter earlier.

[The Pun Shop @sepunshop]

Dancing Muslims call for Shakira law in Denmark.

They are rallying in the streets chanting: People lie, hips don't!

[The Pun Shop @sepunshop]

@aurevoirdogs Only outdone by egg puns <3

[The Pun Shop @sepunshop]

Do you find this tweet a bit too corny @aurevoirdogs? https://t.co/SWYFfLFZ10

[G_Isma @Scvos_photo]

What could be better than light and delicious #corn cobs on a grill?
#summer #grill #foodpic https://t.co/Iu68krLBgP

[The Pun Shop @sepunshop]

@LisbethZornig Kondolerer kære Lisbeth.

[The Pun Shop @sepunshop]

@eraseherheadd @MariaBBjoern @SenSanders Also, we are doing many things right here, but we are deeply dependent on all of our allies espe EU

[The Pun Shop @sepunshop]

@eraseherheadd @MariaBBjoern @SenSanders Also, newly publ. research has just shown that social mobility isn't better in DK compared 2 the US

[The Pun Shop @sepunshop]

@eraseherheadd @MariaBBjoern @SenSanders Well. A democratic socialist as runner-up for dem. can. in the US IS amazing. You're getting there.