Al

[BayernTimes @BayernTimes]

ngl these hydration breaks are getting out of hand

[Al @shashitter]

@bsp_13 They’re so fucking funny

[Al @shashitter]

@PFTCommenter Hot.

[Al @shashitter]

@Harsh_FCB He’s like the Rob Gronkowski of Football

[Selene Mariposa @Selene_Mariposa]

The World Cup has turned America into a discovery channel for the rest of the world.

And they are not handling it well.
In the best possible way.

Here is what they are discovering:

Free public restrooms. Europeans pay every time.
Free water at every restaurant. Just appears.
Free refills. Coffee. Sodas. Iced tea. Unlimited.
Free chips and salsa before you even order.
Free warm bread with dinner.
Ice in drinks like civilized people.
Air conditioning everywhere. Not a moral debate. A fact.
Parking lots attached to the actual place you are going.
Drive throughs where the food comes to the car while you sit in it.
Ranch dressing by the gallon.
Tex-Mex that cannot be explained only experienced.
Dental care that actually works.
Buccee’s. There are no words for Buccee’s.

Then they found the grocery stores.

Five of them within one mile.
Each one the size of an aircraft hangar.
Burgers. Steaks. Brisket. Ribs. Pulled pork. Lamb. Veal. Every cut of every animal ever domesticated by human civilization available in one refrigerated aisle at ten in the morning on a Tuesday.

The Germans stood in the meat section for forty five minutes.
In silence.
Processing.

They finally understand why we do not have trains.

We have roads wide enough for the cars we actually drive.
Parking lots the size of small European countries.
Airports in every city worth visiting.

Why would we need trains.

The Germans are taking ranch home by the bottle.
The Dutch found queso and briefly lost the ability to speak.
The Japanese are photographing HEB like it is the Louvre.
The Czechs are weeping in West, Texas.

Welcome to America.
Everything is free, enormous, air conditioned, comes with chips, and has five grocery stores within a mile that will sell you any cut of any animal you have ever imagined.

Write that down. 🦋

[David Hoffman @TrustlessState]

If USA beats you in the World Cup

That country has to call it Soccer until the next World Cup

New rule I just made up

[Al @shashitter]

@KeezyMK @FCB_Xabhi It’s usually not that dramatic but since a football pitch is wider than an American football field most stadiums had to remove thousands of seats

[Al @shashitter]

@syntyr @joshua_thaler This gives me PTSD

[Leah Vann @LVann_Sports]

They really got him ostrich leather and he has no idea how premium that is 😭

[Al @shashitter]

@JudeUniverse5 Absolute scenes in Dallas

[Al @shashitter]

Quick, someone put a Messi jersey on the rocky statue in Philly

[kieran🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @kieran_ashton1]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Al @shashitter]

@MattWallace888 No ones wearing a kilt?

[Al @shashitter]

@SportsGirlSL God knew the Red Sox were gonna suck so bad this year and said here you go ladies, you can have the Scots and the Vikings to compensate. I’ve had the best time of my life the past 5 days

[Al @shashitter]

@MattLovesVinyl @gietzschean When I read it the first time I also interpreted it as all sports but he said “the sport” as in soccer/football

[SecondAmendment @SecondAmendment]

FYI for anyone visiting Texas....

If they charge for Chips and Salsa, they are NOT a legitimate Mexican restaraunt.

Do not eat there.

Leave immediately.

Call the police and report fraud.

[Hater Report @HaterReport]

Cape Verde’s goalkeeper vs Spain

[Al @shashitter]

@ceskarepre_cz Proof everyone looks good in a cowboy hat

[Al @shashitter]

@STVFootballShow @STVRonnie @Calbell0 @EwenDCameron We really are in love with the Scots! It’s been so much fun having you all here. We never want ya’ll to leave!