Sunshine McBitchface

MMoooo

[Sunshine McBitchface @shazzbott77]

Been living in the southwest for 5 months and “y’all” has now become part of my vocabulary. Shit. I do not find myself cute or adorable because of this. How many fucks cancel out a y’all? Anyone know the equation? Do I need to throw some shit cunts n piss in there too? God dammit

[Sunshine McBitchface @shazzbott77]

@GinRumMe I don’t put olives in or on anything that I make for myself 🤮

[Sunshine McBitchface @shazzbott77]

Who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to make it possible to choke to death on your own saliva? Christ.

[Sunshine McBitchface @shazzbott77]

Oh, shit. What’s been goin on over here in Twitter land? Probably the same BULLSHIT as everywhere else, yeah?

[Sunshine McBitchface @shazzbott77]

Oh, hello Twitter. I just came here to complain about my new upstairs elephant family neighbor’s poor dog that’s been whining and crying all morning and making me sad. 🥺😕

[Sunshine McBitchface @shazzbott77]

@briannetzeljr So you mean like sober sex? 🤔😑😬😥😂🤷‍♀️

[Sunshine McBitchface @shazzbott77]

Stop taking the delay setting on your windshield wipers for granted, okay?

[Sunshine McBitchface @shazzbott77]

@briannetzeljr Dude seriously every day. Several times per shift. Lol

[Sunshine McBitchface @shazzbott77]

@briannetzeljr Absolutely will not do that. 😝

[Sunshine McBitchface @shazzbott77]

@briannetzeljr

[Sunshine McBitchface @shazzbott77]

If someone could invent an app so I can get my workout done online today that way I don’t have to get out of bed that would be marvelous.

[Honest Restaurant Manager @phileagle_]

“Ya sex is great, but have you ever rolled an entire bin of cutlery and had the same number of forks and knives?”

No, that has literally never happened.

[Sunshine McBitchface @shazzbott77]

@briannetzeljr You going fishing again?

[Sunshine McBitchface @shazzbott77]

@briannetzeljr Wow okay

[Sunshine McBitchface @shazzbott77]

@briannetzeljr

[Sunshine McBitchface @shazzbott77]

Why can’t I just be a fucking normal ignorant person? Wtf is wrong with me. Ugh.

[Sunshine McBitchface @shazzbott77]

FYI visine does NOT help relieve burning from soap getting in your eye. It makes it eleventy hundred times worse. Fuck.

[Sunshine McBitchface @shazzbott77]

The amount of women I see regularly with lipstick on their teeth is staggering and it aggravates me. I’m hoping the aliens see this as the sign of ignorance that it is and take these dumb bitches out first. Kthanksbye

[Sunshine McBitchface @shazzbott77]

@briannetzeljr @DONJ0HNS0N WAAAAAKE UUUUUPPPPPP

[Satan @s8n]

Wake up sluts it’s time to sin

[Sunshine McBitchface @shazzbott77]

@briannetzeljr Checks out.. definitely sluttier than the dick pic, IMO... 🤘

[Karen From Finance @BoredomDidIt]

Ugh. Woke up without a boner pressed against my ass, again.