Shellenger

Life Coach to the Criminally Insane

[Shellenger @shellenger]

Oysters are an aphrodisiac because they figure if you swallow that, you'll swallow anything

[Daz? @HomeProbably]

Love is a complicated toxin.

[Forward March @RunOldMan]

This weed was in a crevice that was really hard to get into and I wanted to make sure the roots came out so I tried to use my wife's eyebrow tweezers but dropped them in the crevice, now I have to pretend I don't even know what tweezers are.

[Nonchalant Charlotte @jellybnbonanza]

I sleep with my reply guy.

[Laurie ♥ @retsebez]

Forget all the reasons why it won't work
and believe the one reason why it will......

[Shellenger @shellenger]

@T_Bonezzz_ Thank you for sharing it. 💙

[Shellenger @shellenger]

@T_Bonezzz_ 💔 😭 it’s a shame the harm bullying does...in this case tragic. So sorry for the boy lost & his loved ones. Your son is a good person for caring and trying to help. Terrible that he had to go through such a traumatic experience. 🙏

[fírє вurns @h2_eh]

If you walk in an erratic zigzag pattern no one at the office can see you.

[🇨🇦🏒Canadian Beaver 🏒🇨🇦 @CanadianBeave13]

There needs to be a word that’s not as gross sounding as “panties” but not as geriatric sounding as “underwear.”

[Nonchalant Charlotte @jellybnbonanza]

He looked like 10 miles of bad road so I took another way.

[Shellenger @shellenger]

@jellybnbonanza Gorgeous!

[Nonchalant Charlotte @jellybnbonanza]

Sometimes silence is the best music.