Simon Fiasco

Rascal. Streamer. Writer. Diversionist. Unreasonable Man. I do a little of this and a little of that, and I have fun doing it. Gendersolid.

[Simon Fiasco @simonfiasco]

@jk_rowling How did I not see this last year? An A-Team reference from an A-List author?

I think I'm in love.

[Simon Fiasco @simonfiasco]

People on the left are calling for more deaths of people on the right, including Charlie Kirk’s wife and children. What kind of disturbing mind must you have to want to slaughter a whole family just because you disagree with them politically? #CharlieKirk #lefties #libs #sodumb

[Simon Fiasco @simonfiasco]

@BarackObama Hey, Mr. President, we do know. The bullets were engraved with "Hey, Fascist! Catch!" Then marked with arrows in this order: UP, RIGHT, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN. That's from a video game called Helldivers II. It's the code used to call down a 500kg bomb. It's politically motivated.

[Simon Fiasco @simonfiasco]

I'm sure @FBIDirectorKash and the @FBI have already figured it out, but the inscription on the shooter's bullets mark him as a @Helldivers2 player. Up, Right, Down, Down, Down is the 500kg. Basically he was telling #CharlieKirk to catch a bomb. #500kg #CharlieKirkshot

[Simon Fiasco @simonfiasco]

@Harada_TEKKEN Call it…

Falafel House
Awful House
Jawfull House
Scuffle House
Truffle House
Waffle Hut
Waffle King
Waffle Ring
Waffle Hole

[Simon Fiasco @simonfiasco]

@Helldiversmedia Unofficially named, in my gaming circles, The Democra-seat.

[Sticker Mule @stickermule]

WE ARE GIVING AWAY A CYBERTRUCK

ACTUALLY A CYBERBEAST

REPOST TO ENTER

FOLLOW SO WE CAN DM YOU

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. TERMS: https://t.co/P9OJtf9RCw

[XBOX @XBOX]

Vault Boy would approve.

Follow & RT with #FalloutXboxSweepstakes for a chance to win a custom @falloutonprime Xbox Series X, controller, & Fort Knox vault

Ages 18+. US only. Ends 4/14/24. Rules: https://t.co/O0lUIODPKj

Congratulations! Watch #Fallout on Prime Video April 11.

[Simon Fiasco @simonfiasco]

Hey @AskLyft, what makes you think I want to spend the next 20 minutes picking up a passenger and delivering them to their destination for a meager buck ninety five? That’s less than minimum wage… and that’s before I put gas in my tank and pay for wear and tear on the vehicle.

[Simon Fiasco @simonfiasco]

Hey, @Arbys... one second? Literally one second? That's how long it took for all your dice to sell out on this drop? How many did you put up, five sets? Sheesh! I got up for this? *chuckles*

[Simon Fiasco @simonfiasco]

@AskLyft I’d rather keep this public. What do you say to people who wait over an hour in a Streak Zone to get a passenger, completely missing a Streak Bonus?

[Simon Fiasco @simonfiasco]

Well, that was a wasted hour. Streak Zone? More like Bleak Zone! @lyft @AskLyft #ridesharing #sidehustle #wtf

[Simon Fiasco @simonfiasco]

What’s the point of a @Lyft Streak Bonus if the can’t find you passengers? Been waiting 40 minutes for a ride in a Streak Zone with a supposed 4 minute wait and… nothing. @AskLyft #ridesharing #streakzone #sidehustle #wtf

[Simon Fiasco @simonfiasco]

@cashapp_qwn $simonthehobo

[Simon Fiasco @simonfiasco]

In case you’re wondering, the prompt was “Superman. Star Wars. Dungeons & Dragons. Weird Al Yankovic.” I don’t know what happened to the middle two, but sometimes @midjourney_ai gets it just right. @alyankovic

[Simon Fiasco @simonfiasco]

@NerdyNetty I have no idea who you are or why Twitter is showing me your tweets, but that is a beautiful tattoo. Congratulations!

[Simon Fiasco @simonfiasco]

@stickermule The best way to reply to "this" is with "that."

[Simon Fiasco @simonfiasco]

Hey, @elonmusk! Someone stole my wife's Twitter account and the old regime refused to do anything about it. Any chance you could help her get it back?

[Simon Fiasco @simonfiasco]

@LitRPGforum A 28-pound bag of cat food.

[Simon Fiasco @simonfiasco]

@MojangSupport - I'm trying to recover two accounts - my own and my wife's - but it's been at least seven years since we've played, and neither of us have access to our old email addresses, nor do we recall the answers to all the security questions. What can we do from here?