Sarah Kenny

i don't have a podcast...you're welcome

[Sarah Kenny @skennycomedy]

i kinda can't believe "contact tracing" was ever even a thing...it's like trying to follow where yr pee went in the ocean

[Sarah Kenny @skennycomedy]

if anyone can re-establish the notion of a smoking car…it’s @GoBrightline !

[Sarah Kenny @skennycomedy]

after 5 years fully remote i took an in-person job, i’m trying to focus on the positives, here’s the list so far:

spending less money on toilet paper

[Sarah Kenny @skennycomedy]

when did starbucks become obsessed with protein?

[Sarah Kenny @skennycomedy]

@gothburz this post is my favorite thing on the internet right now 😂😂

[Sarah Kenny @skennycomedy]

epstein files make watergate look like a butt dial

[Sarah Kenny @skennycomedy]

the charging cord keeps detaching from my ipad so i’m trying to teach my tablet how to do kegels.

[Sarah Kenny @skennycomedy]

#HappyHolidays

[Sarah Kenny @skennycomedy]

why would anyone get an abortion when babies have such a high black market value?

[Sarah Kenny @skennycomedy]

been eating so many carrots my poop is a shade of trump

[Sarah Kenny @skennycomedy]

since no one knows how long they'll live i think it's important to have a mid-life crisis once a decade...just to be safe

[Sarah Kenny @skennycomedy]

#weekendrecipe

[Sarah Kenny @skennycomedy]

#hurricaneseason

[Sarah Kenny @skennycomedy]

gonna put a sign in my yard that says "science is fake"...just to give the "science is real" folks a reason to exist.

[Sarah Kenny @skennycomedy]

if you ever get caught in a really big lie...

[Sarah Kenny @skennycomedy]

united: we’re waiting for them to clean the plane…ok just a quick stop in orlando…thanks for yr patience, we’re just waiting on a new pilot…waiting for fuel…waiting for a sign from god…ok everyone get off!

[Sarah Kenny @skennycomedy]

@NotTriggerAtAll but what would i say?! 😛

[Sarah Kenny @skennycomedy]

dear chatgpt, what's the proper format in the references section for my scholarly article when my source is a meme?

[Sarah Kenny @skennycomedy]

sometimes i wonder...is all this nitrous bad for my baby?

[Sarah Kenny @skennycomedy]

i hate to cook but i’m my favorite cook…horrible irony no?

[Sarah Kenny @skennycomedy]

you know yr home's been on the market too long when yr realtor invites you to christmas dinner 🎄😛