Skylar Ritwo

[Skylar Ritwo @sky_ritwo]

Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld both in the house sitting courtside tonight. That’s good JewJew for the #Knicks 😜#NBAFinals

[Skylar Ritwo @sky_ritwo]

“Wow this was really great catching up (didn’t ask mom or dad one question about how they’re doing). I’m so happy for you and your new addition! Can I snag a photo with baby so I can post to my Facebook?”

[Skylar Ritwo @sky_ritwo]

Wife & I had our 2nd child!
90% of boomers: “Omg! I’ll come over and meet the baby! I’ll bring you a bite to eat, then I’ll spend my whole visit holding baby & talking about myself. I won’t help with anything around the house & l’ll leave more dishes for you to do on my way out.”

[Skylar Ritwo @sky_ritwo]

Doctor: please be 10-15 mins early for your 2:30PM appointment to complete check in paperwork.
Doctor at 3:20: so sorry, we’re almost ready for you. Sorry about the wait.

This happens most appointments.

Can’t understand why these people can’t manage their time?

[Skylar Ritwo @sky_ritwo]

Money trees is the perfect place for shade and that’s just how I feel

[Skylar Ritwo @sky_ritwo]

Why are we still putting honey in bear shaped bottles? I’m losing 10% to the ears and nose, and it doesn’t squeeze evenly when I’m almost out. This sucks.

[Skylar Ritwo @sky_ritwo]

Life’s short, get the Partanna

[Skylar Ritwo @sky_ritwo]

Helly R. is way out of Mark S.’s league

[Skylar Ritwo @sky_ritwo]

Nothing worse than a “Spiritual Gangster” t shirt

[Skylar Ritwo @sky_ritwo]

In my Tiramasu era. How long will this last?

[Skylar Ritwo @sky_ritwo]

@RobertLustigMD I listened to your interview w @hubermanlab and learned so much. Disappointing & alarming to see Dariush Mozafarrian completely avoid linking processed food industry / big ag to the obesity epidemic in Dhruv Kallar’s “Still Processing” (@NewYorker 1/13/25) SMH!

[Skylar Ritwo @sky_ritwo]

@HaloSupport @XboxSupport Still not working, same complaint as above. It’s been all day!

[Skylar Ritwo @sky_ritwo]

Caught this @peetscoffee flex in the wild today

[Skylar Ritwo @sky_ritwo]

@ConnorWBurk Nailed it

[Skylar Ritwo @sky_ritwo]

@dieworkwear need you to rate all of @joeygraziadeii outfits on the bachelor. He’s usually looking fresh but this one looks off

[Skylar Ritwo @sky_ritwo]

Parenthood: constantly asking yourself “Why is this wet?” #parenthood #girldad

[Adam Singer @AdamSinger]

Avg MBA brain: "hey Seinfeld, why didn't you simply hire McKinsey?"

[Skylar Ritwo @sky_ritwo]

It’s like eating jewelry

[Skylar Ritwo @sky_ritwo]

The @vuoriclothing Sunday Performance Jogger is the most comfortable pair of pants ever made by humankind