Smirchfa

Mashed potato lover

[Smirchfa @smirchfa]

@3YearLetterman Well technically yes but important to note that almost half goes into business savings acct for a down year so it’s not really “touchable” unless it’s a rough one. Rainy day fund they call it. You don’t count that on taxes.

[Smirchfa @smirchfa]

@_esk_kse_

[Smirchfa @smirchfa]

@yeoldethotticus @buzzfeedjenny Yeah, they claim it doesn’t count because your body doesn’t actually process or digest it. It just passes through your body apparently. 🤷🏻‍♂️ sounds healthy!

[Smirchfa @smirchfa]

@FilmoreJenna @micsolana Oh, you mean the election that was such an ahistorical insane outlier that TIME Magazine put the constitution on the cover and said “Yes, we’ll survive.”?

[Jarvis @jarvis_best]

LA is wild because the election will be between a Cuban trained Marxist guerrilla fighter and a woman running to her left.

[Smirchfa @smirchfa]

I’ve come to believe that this map (along with Reagan 84) represent what America really wants when the least amount of election fraud and extreme media propaganda is happening. Dems/commies know this and work tirelessly while middle America has been asleep for 40-50 years thinking “gosh there’s just no way our system is as corrupt as a banana republic.”

[Smirchfa @smirchfa]

@FrenlyOfficer https://t.co/NlaFg0kxL7

[octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman]

The food replicators in Star Trek would never work because in reality when someone ordered “Earl Grey hot” i would yell over their shoulder “with cum in it” because it would be hilarious

[John Kennedy @FrazzleMyGimp]

Cute girl: haha what are you listening to

(She takes my earbud)

Ai movie recap of Forrest Gump: the retarded man held bubba while dead. He knew bubba did shrimp. A shrimp boat in bubbas memory for fishing. no legs Dan meets god while out shrimping

[Smirchfa @smirchfa]

@EndWokeness https://t.co/97lKXYPZoh

[Anne 🐗🐍🦃 @GovernorAnne]

I would never hike Mount Everest because I have IBS so with my luck I’d have to pop a squat at high altitude and not have enough oxygen to stand back up and end up with an Everest corpse Wikipedia page where they call me The Shitting Girl

[Smirchfa @smirchfa]

@hwinkler4real https://t.co/zqBPC3eFjg

[Smirchfa @smirchfa]

Fonzie-themed seafood restaurant named “Hook, Line, & Winkler.”

[Smirchfa @smirchfa]

@AfgZoroastrian @WCCollier1

[Smirchfa @smirchfa]

@parakeetnebula

[Smirchfa @smirchfa]

True fact…I used to work in the “wedding industry,” without being too specific. Wore tie, belt, dress shoes, was miserable. One day, I was helping with something unrelated at a wedding and there was a no show so I was begged to fill in for a few hours, even though I was wearing tshirt, shorts, and running shoes. It was a revelation….it did not suck. I was happy. I had fun. Wearing non-infuriating clothing makes such a massive difference.

[Smirchfa @smirchfa]

@zipperbread @RayKump “Jet fuel might not melt steel beams, but this next move is gonna melt your brain bro”

[Smirchfa @smirchfa]

@H4terShades @The_Astral_ FYI the scene is inside a video game

[Smirchfa @smirchfa]

@TitaMenez @AlanLevinovitz Were you using a C2? I used a water filled one once and yes, it was like a toy. A C2 can make you puke in 60 seconds.

[Smirchfa @smirchfa]

@AlanLevinovitz If I had to pick one single exercise to stay fit the rest of my life, it’s the rower, no contest.

[Smirchfa @smirchfa]

Whooooaaaaa boy you just described the first decade of having a child. You gotta get ready to have absolutely 0% intellectual stimulation and be bored senseless while simultaneously dealing with nonstop noise and constant, never ending talking. But at least they are cute and you love them.