smokemonster

My friends call me Cerberus.

[smokemonster @smokemonster]

@John_Locke_ WAIT WAIT where are we going!?

[smokemonster @smokemonster]

@thelamppost Is the beard made of smoke, or is the smoke made of beard!? http://is.gd/7AHfB

[smokemonster @smokemonster]

And now the secret is out: I HATE ASHES. But me & @John_Locke_ make a good team.

[smokemonster @smokemonster]

@John_Locke_ So worth it.

[smokemonster @smokemonster]

@bermuda3angle At least I'm not some toothless, lame-o geographic anomaly!

[smokemonster @smokemonster]

@hellobigfoot We should commiserate over a beer sometime! I'd suggest a mani/pedi day but I'm made of smoke and you're too manly.

[smokemonster @smokemonster]

I <3 The Onion, but Lea Thompson? PLEASE. RT @theonion Smoke Monster From 'Lost' Given Own Primetime Spin-Off Series http://bit.ly/tmkWH

[smokemonster @smokemonster]

@LOST_fan Don't be racist! We can see the differences. Of course, ol' Uncle One Eye is easy to recognize. (Long story.)

[smokemonster @smokemonster]

Visiting my cousin Thom in Parisian catacombs. (Recenly promoted to Sr. Bone-Rattler.) Feels a lot like home, with better coffee.

[smokemonster @smokemonster]

@rock247music I got there just in time to watch the Cannes fancy-pants leave on private jets. Now visiting family in Parisian catacombs.

[smokemonster @smokemonster]

@iEthan I don't *have* to ingest people; I'd prefer sushi, to be honest. But sometimes it helps relieve the existential pain. Also: fun.

[smokemonster @smokemonster]

Just got off plane in Paris. (Vacation, mes amis!) Was stuck next to loud fat lady, aka in-flight meal. Not bad for airplane food.

[smokemonster @smokemonster]

@UFO_guy The nice part about being me is not having to explain myself--I just jump out of holes to eat people. ...What was the question?

[smokemonster @smokemonster]

@walrusmuse Better check the kitchen sink, too. Don't tell me you haven't noticed that rotten onion stench. #lazyhusband

[smokemonster @smokemonster]

Mmmmmm. Jacob barbecue. But dangit, left the marshmallows at home.

[smokemonster @smokemonster]

@deemanuk I'm mystified by this "O no, @smokemonster is gonna kill me" thing. I have a fine palette and am very choosy. Relax!

[smokemonster @smokemonster]

@mariaemilias Haven't killed any humans lately, but totally tore into a ham sandwich for lunch. Ran out of Dharma mayo, though. Bummer.

[smokemonster @smokemonster]

@joelmchale I'm NOT "gay for @aplusk" as alleged on @thesoup: http://is.gd/uSKJ. A Guild of Professional Monsters lawyer will be in touch.

[smokemonster @smokemonster]

@iEthan Yep, it's a pretty sweet job. Kinda lonely, though. Hey @jajajameson, you think domo kun & I could get past the language barrier?

[smokemonster @smokemonster]

@echostick Hmm, I remember throwing a Mr. Eko around, just for giggles. And maybe a twig with some mumbo-jumbo carved on it. But not you.