carson

[carson @smthprettyvague]

i use every part of the bud and thank creation before i smoke it

[ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴠɪʟ @_thevixiness]

Estoy llorando de lo bonito que es, terminado parece que lo hizo otra persona.

[jörg shidmann @tranz_schubert]

I met Dr Pepper. THEY'RE a podiatrist.

[CCP @PereiraCyd77098]

Probably one of the best tweets ever.

[johntheman_heiscome_heisme_PREACHTRUTHILLUMINATIPl @heiscomeheisme]

MET A STRANGE FELLOW ... HE HAD FOUR LEGS AND POINTY EARS ... I ASKED HIM THE TIME OF DAY AND ALL HE SAID WAS "MEOW" ... RUDE ... I STILL DONT KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS OR WHERE I AM AND IM STARTING TO GET SCARED

[The cat... TOTALLY out of the bag @TwasBrillig1]

[every new episode of hotd] "why is this about the core themes of asoiaf? 😡"

[carson @smthprettyvague]

@onlypoemsmag all goes onward and outward, nothing collapses

[carson @smthprettyvague]

@shierakstar @ThatGuyHeCrazy well of course they were. that’s why hotd exists

[grace @agneswickfields]

do you think there is a contingent of gays in kings landing who stan cersei lannister. like margaery definitely has some. but do her gays and the cersei gays have beef?

[carson @smthprettyvague]

@KnightGrayson_ @blodrheeina cook

[Integrity Guy @Integrity_Freak]

Country song 1960: I got laid off in December, lost the house this past July / and if you leave me, Mary-Anne, I’ll kill myself tonight

Country song today: A simple blade of grass makes me smile / And a baby is a kind of child.

[brian @brianonhere]

whoever designs online portals for local governments is making user interface decisions so bizarre and hostile they actually verge on avant-garde

[Armin @ArrminEm]

I’ve done acid more times than I had cottage cheese

[chairman biden @chairmanbiden74]

happy pride

[Forrest Cardamenis @FCardamenis]

Baby has gotten good at identifying “dada” but still struggling with surrealism, cubism, even baroque.

[𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖊 🕯 @atlanticesque]

Hadn’t quite got the hang of it yet had they

[picardie aurora @picardie_aurora]

someone said they were a ‘cloud architect’, for a moment i imagined the most incredible job in the world before i realized they mean like software

[carson @smthprettyvague]

@notyaboi777 not to brag but i’m only halfway thru 😏