Stephen

I laugh. I dance. I control the elements (well, one of them).

[Stephen @snortingmarmots]

@sccs Miss you too, and eager to get down there once it's feasible!

[Stephen @snortingmarmots]

To celebrate the release of Fallout 76, I'm playing Fallout 4 instead.

[Stephen @snortingmarmots]

@meganromer I just saw a group of your tweets on Facebook from a non-mutual friend. You're famous!

[Stephen @snortingmarmots]

Powdered donuts are the Suitcase Full of Ransom Money With Explosive Dye of the junk food world.

[Stephen @snortingmarmots]

After many failed attempts to verify the atomint theory by capturing a subpackage particle in a laboratory setting long enough for observation, I was unable to disprove the null hypothesis that the Half-Box is the smallest stable unit of Thin Mint.

[Stephen @snortingmarmots]

Adulting is all about planning ahead. I'm shoveling the driveway before the snow hits so I can sleep in tomorrow.

[Stephen @snortingmarmots]

Be the Stan Lee cameo you want to see in the world.

[Stephen @snortingmarmots]

You can be my wingman anytime. #TalkLikeAPilotDay

[Stephen @snortingmarmots]

“What are halflings?”
“Store-brand hobbits.”

[Stephen @snortingmarmots]

Whoso putteth in this USB in this drive is rightwise king born of all England.

[Stephen @snortingmarmots]

The squiggly red lines under both ‘Artifical’ and ’Intellignece’ seem a touch more judgmental and smug than usual.

[Stephen @snortingmarmots]

I am on the second floor;
A burrito’s on the first.
My feet are heading out the door,
Ere I complete this verse.

[Stephen @snortingmarmots]

“This date is BYOB. You will be judged by your choice of B on a scale from 1 to 10, where 3 is Bobcat.“

[Stephen @snortingmarmots]

There’s heavy traffic, and then there’s being outpaced by a butterfly.

[Stephen @snortingmarmots]

The office copier has a “One Touch Scan” feature. It requires 8 touches.

I’m implementing a “One Cookie a Day” policy.

[Stephen @snortingmarmots]

Quitting everything to work on developing my new app: MonkeySpa. Tentative tag line: “It’s a dream come true!”

[Stephen @snortingmarmots]

On my résumé, does “Outsmarted by a filing cabinet” go under Education or Work Experience?

[Stephen @snortingmarmots]

Today at work I was reading through correspondence from two fellows Haynes and Graeber. Yippee-ki-yay.

[Stephen @snortingmarmots]

I came here to make friends and explain the intricacies of permitting regulations, and I’m all out of … dangit :(