Stephanie Cozzette

Aubrey Plaza Shania Twain

[Stephanie Cozzette @spaghettizetti]

@fit4less (2/2) ...because the lights go straight into the apartment building next door. This isn't the first time your thoughtful staff have left the lights on all night and disturbed our sleel. Pls turn your lights off when you leave, if you ever even get this business running

[Stephanie Cozzette @spaghettizetti]

@fit4less (1/2) omg I think it's so cute that you're opening a location next door but I don't need to be able to see inside of it all night. I know you're new to the neighbourhood at 21 McCaul (Toronto) so let me remind you to turn off your lights at night because...

[Stephanie Cozzette @spaghettizetti]

@SpotifyCares Can i sign up for the $99 cad / year without paying twice? Already signed up for premium

[Stephanie Cozzette @spaghettizetti]

@GoodLifeFitness pls tell your staff not to cold-call potential members and call them "love" when they politely decline a membership

[Stephanie Cozzette @spaghettizetti]

Which channel is @africamagictv on @Rogers or @Bell? Also where do I find a TV with cable? #couchpotato

[Stephanie Cozzette @spaghettizetti]

@SpringHillSuite please help the hippos upstairs out of their room they are stuck, they've been stomping in the floor for hours

[Stephanie Cozzette @spaghettizetti]

@SpringHillSuite it's been hours. Pretty sure the hippos can't make it out of their hotel room so they're stuck

[Stephanie Cozzette @spaghettizetti]

@SpringHillSuite #justiceforhippos

[Stephanie Cozzette @spaghettizetti]

@SpringHillSuite wouldn't it be kinder to the hippos to let them stay on the first floor? The whole family can hardly fit in the elevator

[Stephanie Cozzette @spaghettizetti]

@SpringHillSuite but actually the light fixtures are shaking, the hippo struggles are real

[Stephanie Cozzette @spaghettizetti]

@SpringHillSuite but please I am actually fearing for my life because hippos are so, so vicious

[Stephanie Cozzette @spaghettizetti]

@SpringHillSuite also please build a better ceiling how do you not have sound isolation

[Stephanie Cozzette @spaghettizetti]

@SpringHillSuite in all seriousness I need the quiet to rest for my father's funeral tomorrow please have mercy

[Stephanie Cozzette @spaghettizetti]

@SpringHillSuite the hippo noises are causing much anxiety I might throw up in your breakfast

[Stephanie Cozzette @spaghettizetti]

@SpringHillSuite did you let donald trump stay upstairs I really think of anyone else who could be this horrible for no reason

[Stephanie Cozzette @spaghettizetti]

@SpringHillSuite can you please do something about the trampoline contest happening upstairs

[Stephanie Cozzette @spaghettizetti]

@SpringHillSuite not sure how they do it here in America so I'm sorry I'm not used to staying in hotels where hippos stay the floor above

[Stephanie Cozzette @spaghettizetti]

@SpringHillSuite "a little extra. A lot less ordinary." = Hippos are allowed in the suites on the upper floors

[Stephanie Cozzette @spaghettizetti]

@SpringHillSuite isn't it bad enough that I have to bury my father tomorrow but now you've allowed hippos to stay in the suite above

[Stephanie Cozzette @spaghettizetti]

@SpringHillSuite if I wake up crushed like chicken cutlets under a hippo you'll be haunted by my ghost for the rest of your lives