Unknown Entity

Can't very well be revealing things about myself if my wish is to remain an unknown entity.

[Sky News @SkyNews]

A relative of a COVID patient outside Delhi's largest hospital says there is no oxygen for patients outside waiting to be admitted, where many are dying before getting help.

Another gravely ill person arrives at the hospital midway through @AlexCrawfordSky's interview

[Unknown Entity @speedypoint]

Conway's Secret Blog https://t.co/tXSOzLR8bY

[JOE @JOE_co_uk]

Mourinho, Wenger, Klopp and Guardiola provide their excuses for not winning the league this year | @888sport

[Corey Paterson @Midgetspar]

I don't know what "Leg Day" is but spending it at the gym is no way to celebrate.

[David Hughes @david8hughes]

I just wanna find a girl who I can sit with all night & look at the stars & talk about random shit then stick my tongue in her asshole.

[OptaJoe @OptaJoe]

10 - Premier League clubs have won 6+ games in a row without conceding on 10 occasions, with Chelsea responsible for half of those. Epic.

[pensive calypso music @pharmasean]

Every time Trump talks about his policy on anything I’m reminded of this scene

[Maddie Stone @themadstone]

The only winner tonight is the Voyager probe, which is speeding away from the Earth at 17 kilometers/second #debatenight

[Brendan Kelly: Juggalo @badsandwich]

Star Wars (1977) led by his belief in an ancient religion he barely understands, a teen from the desert flies a plane into govt headquarters

[GoaT FacE @EndhooS]

Neighbour whose pug attacked me: Didn't you see the sign? 'Beware the Dog'?
Me: [bleeding significantly] I thought that was his name

[David Hughes @david8hughes]

[laser tag]
Instructor: Dude, you're not gonna run out of ammo
Me [strapping bayonet to the end of gun]: let's just agree to disagree

[paperwash© @PaperWash]

Hang Man is an advanced parenting technique that tells our kids if they don't learn to spell and get good grades we're going to murder them

[Rob Halden @robhalden]

"Grammar Nazi" is an odd term. It suggests that the Nazi's, whilst over-zealous and annoying, were still inherently correct.

[paperwash© @PaperWash]

America 2016 is the best spaghetti western of all time

[David Hughes @david8hughes]

Me: theres a man outside fighting with water
Wife: the neighbour?
Me: yes
Wife: is he in the pool?
Me: yes
Wife: again, its called swimming

[Existential Comics (find me on bluesky) @existentialcoms]

The only thing that you really can't force people to do is to become educated. You can force them to read, but that only goes so far.

[David Hughes @david8hughes]

[bank robbery]
Robber 1: put money in the bag
Robber 2: how come u get to be robber 1?
Robber 4: how do u think I feel. There's only 3 of us

[David Hughes @david8hughes]

[gets off crosstrainer]
"Hey girl [out of breath, hands on knee] you like f-fitness? Cos I'm fitn--"
"Shall I call an ambulance?"
"Please."