com putor

infrastructure

[stimmy ⚢☭ @stimberbee]

I go garbonzo on her bean until that chick pees

[⟢ ⟣ @vamptact]

Son, your mother and i are unfollowing eachother on instagram

[hot_cocoa_girl @hot_cocoa_girl]

A condom rly? Single use plastic? You hate the planet

[josh @joshypooper]

did you hear about the guy who dunked his balls in glitter? pretty nuts

[aIenka @ankyhaidy]

you’re my friend and to some extent my wife

[com putor @ssm0dy]

@thsottiaux claude /rc equiv

let me connect from my phone (android) to codex cli session running on linux

no ssh, no codex desktop app ssh

[Average Database CEO @AvgDatabaseCEO]

Last night I was offered sex by a certain database company leaders wife in exchange for promoting her husband’s database on my account.

I declined, as I do not support adultery and am already busy this weekend using Neon Postgres, a quality database which rarely has downtime

[Dimitri Kolokotronis @JLevendia]

>Put in a single AirPod to listen to a video
>hitherto silent wife becomes voluble, complete with tests to see if I’m listening
>give up and take out AirPod
>wife falls silent again

[jenny @wh0r30z]

i let my boyfriend have the pin for my ipad that i use strictly for netflix and school and when i came home from work he said "i broke our promise.." with a frown

[com putor @ssm0dy]

@bunniestx it means you are underwater. the waves of the water create this caustic sort of effect

[lewis @Lewiswbt1]

JACOB COLLIER: and violins, could I get a pizzicato d, then up to g, yeah that's nice. flutes keep those quavers going. And piano, could I have a trill on your lowest b flat
Me: (closing piano lid) no sorry Jacob
JC: a trill on the b flat please piano
Me: no Jacob I won't do it

[frick @gofrickurself]

At rock bottom do you want anything

[Owl @owltwting]

just hooed after sitting completely silent on a tree for 8 hours straight

[uxie @uxiedustt]

i'm a boy and i pee sitting down #vagina

[۟ @clashmr_]

She wants a knight in shining armor but im just a chud in polyester

[rune sword @runesword1]

the knights are joustingggg

[PJ @kickthepj]

the first half of the alphabet is simple baby stuff but when u get past lmnop it's like ok... we're getting into dangerous teritory now

[A @seattleiminyou]

Hey I had so much fun with you today let’s stop talking to each other forever

[لا حولَ @Idgafwarvet]

Ignoring each other with the intention of marriage