AAAH! B. JOHNSON 🧛🏻‍♀️

iOS engineer @Tinder. (See also: cat mom, empath, shark advocate, mental health champion, aging counterculturist, ice cream hoarder, recovering New Englander)

[AAAH! B. JOHNSON 🧛🏻‍♀️ @stabby]

Lookit what my human lifemate/roommate-with-benefits spent the last year+ working on!
👏👏👏 @yumyumfish
#TransformersOne

[Transformers @transformers]

Every Transformer has an origin. Watch the new trailer for #TransformersOne - only in theatres September 20.

[AAAH! B. JOHNSON 🧛🏻‍♀️ @stabby]

@itslindseystarr “Mothership: New Message”

[AAAH! B. JOHNSON 🧛🏻‍♀️ @stabby]

My social life is about to become a #DynamicIsland.
#AppleEvent #iosdev #programmingmemes

[AAAH! B. JOHNSON 🧛🏻‍♀️ @stabby]

@tweethue DM'd you! Thanks 🙌

[AAAH! B. JOHNSON 🧛🏻‍♀️ @stabby]

@tweethue Moved my Lightstrip Plus w/ BT to another room yesterday, when the BT app said to update software & transfer setup to the reg Hue app. Ever since then the lights will not turn on (tho app says they are connected and on). Only had it 1.5yrs! Any troubleshooting recs?

[AAAH! B. JOHNSON 🧛🏻‍♀️ @stabby]

@tweethue Already up to date (no updates available).

[AAAH! B. JOHNSON 🧛🏻‍♀️ @stabby]

@tweethue The app says it’s connected and on. But the lights are still off. No dimmer switch or anything. I’ve plugged other things into the same outlet and they worked fine.

[AAAH! B. JOHNSON 🧛🏻‍♀️ @stabby]

@tweethue Yes, I have (see attached screenshot with current software version). I’m more so concerned there’s a problem with the lights themselves, but I have no idea how to tell whether it’s a issue with the software vs the hardware.

[AAAH! B. JOHNSON 🧛🏻‍♀️ @stabby]

...I know it's a #FirstWorldProblem. But dangit, it should NOT be this hard to spend this much money, just so I can permanently reside (and continue to pay astronomical taxes) in the city that I love.

[AAAH! B. JOHNSON 🧛🏻‍♀️ @stabby]

Why is @AsmChrisWard the only one trying to regulate RE developers & investors? For 2y now, 99% of my offers have been getting outbid by all-cash buyers who re-list 6mo later for $1m+ more! What's a self-made FTHB in LA to do? ..Move to NV!? #AB1771 @laurafriedman43 @GavinNewsom

[AAAH! B. JOHNSON 🧛🏻‍♀️ @stabby]

Fwiw, I can vouch for @dougorey. He has nice hair *and* fingernails.

[AAAH! B. JOHNSON 🧛🏻‍♀️ @stabby]

@RachelBrods Don’t worry, only thing you’re missing is a whole lot of wasted hours from your day 🥴

[AAAH! B. JOHNSON 🧛🏻‍♀️ @stabby]

@JordanVanDina Achievement Unlocked 🏆

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

Movie pitch: Person pitches movie on Twitter.

[AAAH! B. JOHNSON 🧛🏻‍♀️ @stabby]

I’ve literally NEVER been able to order thru @Instacart bc every time I’ve tried I’m told my acct is flagged as fraudulent.
…so naturally I am dying to know how an actually fraudulent user has been able to use MY account to send gift cards when I have not. 🤨

[AAAH! B. JOHNSON 🧛🏻‍♀️ @stabby]

Spoiler Alert 😈🗡 #Halloween2021 #MalignantMovie @WallisAnnabelle

[Joshua Cordes @yumyumfish]

@stabby as Gabriel / Madison from #Malignant #HappyHalloween2021 Watch out for flying chairs!

[AAAH! B. JOHNSON 🧛🏻‍♀️ @stabby]

I’ve been very impressed with the @nyt iOS app… up until my attempt to cancel a $3.50/mo games sub. Sign up with the tap of a button, yet I have to SPEAK TO SOMEONE to cancel.

Not only that but the “Begin Chat” button is unresponsive 😑.

Annoying, at best. Shady, at worst.

[AAAH! B. JOHNSON 🧛🏻‍♀️ @stabby]

@taquitos Everything about this is just so Silicon Valley Extra that I don’t even know what to say anymore

[hint @hint]

Congrats! You’ve made it halfway through the week and you deserve a free case of #HintWater! 🙌💧🍉 RT this for a chance to win. We’ll pick 5 winners. #giveaway