Madi Standen

[Thomas White @len0killer]

Carhartt is anybody’s game but please don’t wear Lands’ End if you were never homeschooled

[sofia is quite the pyro ❤️‍🔥💃 @taylorisdownbad]

just know that if you voted for him you’re beneath me. i don’t respect you, i don’t like you, i don’t wanna hear anything you have to say about literally anything. you’re just terrible, uneducated, gullible children in the bodies of adults

[Madi Standen @standenondeez]

My new hall pass is Linsey Davis

[Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation @OKWildlifeDept]

Getting her an engagement ring for Christmas?
- predictable
- no element of surprise
- perhaps, too romantic
- not a legal form of ID

Getting her a lifetime fishing license for Christmas?
- instant shock and awe
- will never see it coming
- is an official state document

[Madi Standen @standenondeez]

@UMPublicAffairs @UMich weird fucking flex?

[Madi Standen @standenondeez]

I wish someone told me before I applied to grad school how absolutely exhausting it is to be a fraud

[Madi Standen @standenondeez]

Is it philosophizing or falafelizing?

[Madi Standen @standenondeez]

The feminine urge to buy the Jane Goodall Barbie

[Madi Standen @standenondeez]

From the bottom of my heart I hope the bachelorettes fall in love

[Washington State Dept. of Natural Resources @waDNR]

She's a 10 but always threatening to destroy everything I've ever loved

[brecht apologist @madison_tayt]

holy shit, i can fix this if i vote? awesome! when’s the next supreme court election??

[🐊 Morg🐊 @AlienScumDotXYZ]

The feminine urge to become violent

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

The dude who cried about beer on TV has made a BIG decision about your life, ladies!

[Madi Standen @standenondeez]

trying to decide if it’s a good time to be sleeping with a woman or a bad time to be gay

[Madi Standen @standenondeez]

Anita Hill’s Testimony and Other Key Moments From the Clarence Thomas Hearings https://t.co/Ew4dwEDqMM

[Madi Standen @standenondeez]

Always western blotting, never eastern blotting

[Madi Standen @standenondeez]

The feminine urge to nugget a strangers backpack at the coffee shop

[Madi Standen @standenondeez]

Who is Roth and why does he want my IRA