Sorry I missed your text, I’ve been busy pushing everyone close to me away and binge watching horrible tv and thinking about how none of this matters. Let’s get lunch soon
being in your 20s is realizing you’ve been passively suicidal your whole life and never expected to survive for this long but now you have to actively participate in your own life and because you’ve spent all your life wanting to die you have no idea how to actually live
I have a complicated relationship to food and my parents and sex and my body and God and being social and most substances and probably just any aspect of life actually.
once i beat the depression & the burnout & the anxiety and the loneliness and the exhaustion and the guilt and the awkwardness and the apathy and the chronic illness and the impatience and the vulnerability, the creative block, capitalism and the cruelty THEN you'll see
i actually LOVE that it gets dark at 7pm now. now i can start Reckoning With My Own Insignificance earlier. really frees up the rest of the evening for Mourning What Could Have Been