Stephen Mburu

Human Resources||Mental Health||Gender Equality.

fan, Chelsea FC

[Forge Mode | Self-Mastery® @HoliHappiness]

Masculine texts women crave

-Thread-

[FlexFusion @FlexFusion_]

IF SHE'S LOSING INTEREST - DO THIS

[Stephen Mburu @stephensmburu]

@Safaricom_Care What's up safaricom. I did okoa for data bundles last night. Received the okoa message but never received the 1GB bundles for one hour worth 20 shillings. I proceeded to okoa again 2 times but the same problem. That is 60 bob yenye mnataka kunipora. Reverse those transactions

[Stephen Mburu @stephensmburu]

@KenJRaphael @grok

[Stephen Mburu @stephensmburu]

@Blue_Footy @grok, explain

[Stephen Mburu @stephensmburu]

@LewiBluz @IanJamesMwaiK @grok, is this true?

[Stephen Mburu @stephensmburu]

@TheBlueDodger @BobbyVincentFL Fuxxxng clown.

[The Beacon Signal @thebeaconsignal]

When the richest man in the realm thanks the loudest president alive,
it’s not gratitude.
It’s scripting.

They’re not shaking hands.
They’re shaking the simulation.
And the applause is already baked in.

This isn’t a conversation.
It’s a convergence event.
Power isn’t passed.
It’s mirrored.

Elon didn’t endorse Trump.
He echoed the algorithm.
Because the feed doesn’t run on elections anymore.
It runs on energy.
And this post is a battery pack for belief systems.

“Thank you for what you’ve done,”
he says,
like the last decade wasn’t a televised ritual.

This isn’t politics.
It’s performance.
Two archetypes in the arena
playing the same role in different accents.

And the moment you pick a side
you forget the script was written
by the same hand.

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

It’s alleged that DJ Dibul was not just assaulted, but thoroughly flogged by his wife, actress Dorea Chege like a stubborn burukenge. And the most unfortunate part is that Kenyans online are making fun of him. My little bird even tells me this has been happening on repeat,, not once, not twice,, nikama Omwami amekua akilimwa hapana macheso.

This whole saga reminds me of back in the day when President Ruto and the entire country shamelessly turned Wetangula’s domestic misery into national entertainment. My friend, the memes were reproducing like rabbits.

It reminds me of a time when Mama Liam found a text in my phone from a woman asking if I could “detect something different in her boobs” because she feared one was bigger than the other causing a health scare.

Before the dermatologist could even comment how the nyondos were stiff, that short woman launched a frying pan on my head like she was auditioning for a cricket tournament. I got a Black eye Instantly. All I could see is marudurudu & dimdim.

Lemme tell you Omwami, I staggered to Kilimani Police Station to report the matter. The officers looked at me, burst out laughing and asked, “Boss, kwani huna nguvu? Unapigwa aje na mwanamke?” These guys were mocking me so loudly even the mikoras in the cells were giggling.

The irony is that, if Mama Liam was the one reporting me, I’d have been arrested, handcuffed and carried out of my house like a terrorist suspect before I even finished swallowing my ugali imondoo. Equality my foot.

Truth be told, biologically you’ll rarely find even a military trained woman overpowering an average man unless that woman is built like a reinforced concrete pillar. Forget the movies where ladies fly in the air doing flying kick ndiraa. Real life is different.

But we men, as peaceful & loving creatures, sometimes choose to take the high road. We refuse to fight fire with fire. And instead of being respected for our restraint, society treats us like a national joke.

Anyway, the last time Mama Liam tried that nonsense again, she saw birds of Ngethee flapping and singing the national anthem. And that was the last night I ever slept in that house. Since then, I have been living in my humble studio apartment, happy & stress free.

Nowadays I only quarrel with my Gen Z babe on why I can't get an erection without the help of kanūa, this is after several rounds of diameter measuring. She's a yellow-yellow damsel from Murimaa with a UEFA Champions League level of game.

Zile mambo huyo mtoto ananifanyia, only Yehova Wanyonyi knows. It's like I was still a fachiin god one. Haven’t you poor pipoos noticed that lately I’m glowing like a man who just got sponsored by Nivea itself. Kwa Ndoa Sirudi Mimi, Afasaliii Mninyonge. 😒

[Stephen Mburu @stephensmburu]

@grok @hellohesd @vikramjajuha @sonofkharis @CFCDaily @grok

[Stephen Mburu @stephensmburu]

@grok @hellohesd @vikramjajuha @sonofkharis @CFCDaily What about the yellow card against wolves

[Citizen TV Kenya @citizentvkenya]

Raila’s body leaves Jaramogi Oginga Odinga University en route to Kang’o ka Jaramogi for the private burial ceremony

[Citizen TV Kenya @citizentvkenya]

Raila Odinga laid to rest in a private ceremony at his home in Kang’o ka Jaramogi, Bondo, Siaya County

[Kenyans.co.ke @Kenyans]

President Ruto, in case you are wondering I’m ready to come back home - Winnie Odinga

[BRAVIN YURI @BravinYuri]

William Ruto led the No team with others. That is why he is butchering this constitution. Changing every bit he doesn't like. Authorianism.

[Mt. Kenya East Commentary @itsjim_ke]

Sam Atandi is not happy

[Amakanji Thomas @AmakanjiThomas]

James Orengo is cooking Uhuru Kenyatta and Mr Bacteria without mercy, they wanted him on the mic and he has given them the dose.

They expected him to side with anti-Raila. Thank you James.

[Lynn Ngugi @lynn_ngugi1]

The whole truth, not half truths✌️Sifuna is not scared of the truth..video courtesy Citizen TV

[Karz @KazunguLuke]

@lynn_ngugi1 @lynn_ngugi1 this.

[Stephen Mburu @stephensmburu]

@TheBlueDodger I always fear those Brentford long throws