Stu Rolls

Husband, father, pool cleaner, sound man, sound mind.

Occasionally moonlight as a hardworking, giving and loveable man.

@BackintheBand co-host

[cluedont @cluedont]

I usually measure England World Cup performances on 'FUCK SAKE's per minute. Currently at about three and expect this to climb rapidly after kick off.

[DJB @Skinwalker5110]

Remember when people wore a long sleeve tshirt under a short sleeve tshirt and it meant you liked music.

[North End Podcast @nepdailypod]

🚨Football in 2026 is a complete MESS

- Southampton win over 210 minutes, then Middlesbrough take their place despite losing, completely ruining Hull preparation.

- Celtic practically handed the SPL by VAR.

- Arsenal given the Premier League title thanks to VAR.

- Senegal protest an incorrect VAR call, go on to win the game, then have the AFCON taken off them.

Football should be decided between 22 blokes on a pitch not in offices or VAR rooms. Absolute shambles. It’s not football anymore.

[No Question About That @nqatpod]

Bruno 20!

[Transfer Dan @TheTransferOne]

20 Premier League assists for Bruno Fernandes.

Best player in the league this season.

[Graham Spiers @GrahamSpiers]

90 seconds left in the Nou Camp. I was there that night in the press box and have never seen such carnage among newspapermen under a deadline, or such collective dismay as struck the German press corps. As a Sunday newspaper guy, it was all a delight.

[Tom Santos @tommysantos14]

You want me to believe that:
- This is something like the 3rd or 4th Secret Service failure.
- Tump boycotts the correspondence dinner every year.
- He’s pitching an unnecessary ballroom no one asked for.
- And there happens to be a shooter incident at the event when a large number of his cabinet members and himself are there.

And all of this is coincidence?

Yeah. Ok.

[Shaan Puri @ShaanVP]

I have a theory that if you were a teenager between 1998 and 2004, you accidentally became insanely high-agency. 

There were no streaming services. No $9.99 Spotify or Disney+ to get what you want. If you wanted entertainment, you had to become a cyber criminal. 

Do you know how complicated it was to just get access to music, movies and porn? Every day after school I was bootlegging Dane Cook comedy sets, learning bodybuilding from obscure internet forums, and if my mom picked up the home phone line, the entire internet would disconnect. 

Shoutout to my fellow late 1980s kids, we unknowingly did navy-seal style training on how to hack the internet to get what you want.

[Mitch Benn @MitchBenn]

In a fucking coma from 2019 to 2022 were you?

[When Football Was Better @FootballInT80s]

21/04/1999:

Champions League on ITV in the late 90s.

Does it get any better?

@CliveTyldesley on 🎙️ for one of the greatest nights of that era.

Man Utd, a week after their epic Fa Cup win over Arsenal, came back from 2-0 down in Turin to defeat Juventus 3-2.

[UF @UtdFaithfuls]

TEARS!!! 🤣🤣🤣

[Parody Nigel Farage @Parody_PM]

Concern grows for Suella Braverman as she completely forgets she spent nine years as part of the Conservative government, including two periods as Home Secretary, responsible for immigration.

[Stu Rolls @stuartrolls23]

@raphaelschaad I feel ya! (86 born myself)

Why so for you?

[Stu Rolls @stuartrolls23]

@pelli86 Cuando no hay fiesta?

[Thrilla the Gorilla @ThrillaRilla369]

Born in the 80s.
Raised in the 90s.
Partied in the 2000s.

Thank goodness there’s not video evidence.
Just memories, rumors, and trauma.

[CooperBaggs 💰🍞 @edgaralandough]

Real luxuries of Adult life:

1. Living close to work so your commute is short
2. Having a gym nearby that makes staying consistent easier
3. Quiet, peaceful neighbors
4. Having money left over at the end of the month—and investing it
5. Feeling peace in your home
6. Being able to drink your coffee without rushing
7. Going to sleep with a clear conscience
8. Laughing with people who truly understand you
9. Being able to travel every year
10. Waking up naturally without an alarm
11. Having a body that feels good today
12. Owning your time on weekends
13. Saying “no” without guilt
14. Not stressing over small purchases
15. Feeling calm and secure about your future

[CooperBaggs 💰🍞 @edgaralandough]

Going to leave you with this tonight:

The best thing you can do for yourself is actively increase your surface area for luck to hit you.

Go outside, travel more, go to new cafes, museums, events, take a new route home, go for hikes, see cities, countrysides, take your notebook, speak to people, ask questions, start businesses - go on more side quests.

You can literally just do things, and the more you do, the more serendipity and synchronicity will find you.

Night gang.

[B. @InvertTheWing]

Over the past 24 hours, we have seen 4 managers of 4 of the biggest clubs in the world come out say they do not enjoy the sport.

Pep Guardiola, Liam Rosenior, Arne Slot, and now Michael Carrick.

Mikel Arteta has genuinely ruined the climate. Top managers do not enjoy it, casuals do not enjoy it.

Time to change your rules, @FA_PGMOL.

[Prairie Putz @putzisbackbaby]

No debt
Ideal weight
8 hours of sleep
Mental health on track
Right nutrition
Zero Alcohol
This was my peak. I was 8.

Good times…

[Grant Stott 🎙 @GrantStottOnAir]

Ball boy raging. 🤣