Ms. Right

I like jokes and stalking people

[Ms. Right @superfine777]

you say everything unraveling like it's a bad thing

[𝔹𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕫 @ExLife_Coach]

Find someone who will take care of your heart

[Manda @crowellalove]

Fuck it, who fancies jumping off a cliff?

[Rock @TheCensoredRock]

I’ve never seen a hamster in the wild where the fuck do they come from

[༻ 𝐂 𝐍𝐨 ༺ @herprettybones]

The best thing about Thanksgiving is everything.

[Adam @adamgreattweet]

adulthood means hurting your back when you relax incorrectly

[ChiChi Greenblatt @ChiChiGreenblat]

This thing we call Thanksgiving is an awful lot of work.

[thisGringo @smbeckley]

The blood on the axe handle is mine but it’s not what you think.

[Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO]

Welcome to my home. This is the rug I trip on.

[Trace @checkthenest]

Here's to hoping I get stuffed before the turkey does

[Betty Botticelli @Faungirl123]

C'mere and lemme smack the back of that head

[✨L.I.N.Ä 🐼🐼🐼 @funnyaries0418]

It’s boring if you don’t have loving people around you…

[Jö$h @JoshKing2]

Bitcoin should be renamed to Bitchcoin

[Jö$h @JoshKing2]

a prosthetic but for the brain

[Jö$h @JoshKing2]

*Laying in bed with your wife...

Look, I'm tired of being the the third wheel around here.

[Jö$h @JoshKing2]

*Using a defibrillator on your tweet...

* Nope it's dead

[Lovely Bones @MrsLovelyBones1]

I think you need a girl like me, I also think that terrifies you.

[𝓜𝓮𝓱𝓻𝓲💫 @meh_thinks]

You will regret not taking bold chances on what you love and who you love.

[ДρøℂДℓУρ✞îℂ ฬ๏๓คภ ⋆⭒˚.⋆ @W0nderW0manW0w]

I think my depression has depression.

[Uncle Drunky 🥃 @uncledrunky]

Weed isnt the gateway drug. Trauma is.