Registered Flex Offender

bad choices make good stories

[♡ @vulnicuravirgo]

what would u do if this happened rn?

[𝖘𝖑𝖎𝖒  @brokehomieslim]

Philly is not a real place bruh

[Registered Flex Offender @supernova3112]

@wematode Sticking a cucumber up your butt hits the vegetarian reset

[Registered Flex Offender @supernova3112]

Spoken like a true scheming eunuch

[The Spectator Index @spectatorindex]

UNITED STATES: JD Vance says Trump is going to 'serve out the remainder of his term', but if 'God forbid, there is a terrible tragedy' he cannot think of 'better on the job training' than what he has received in the past 200 days.

[Sopranos World @SopranosWorld]

Travis Kelce trying to write his wedding vows:

[Registered Flex Offender @supernova3112]

Boomer equivalent of this

[Brian Roemmele @BrianRoemmele]

A message from the 1980s:

“You know the 80s miss you, right?”

[Registered Flex Offender @supernova3112]

@B_Mike95 @spidermanias Even then it’s pretty close, DCAU waller was going to have Terry’s parents killed in hopes of making a new Batman

[Registered Flex Offender @supernova3112]

Chud final boss

[Rep. Mike Collins @RepMikeCollins]

On this day in history in 2018, 28-year-old Richard Russell — remembered as "Sky King" — borrowed an airplane from Seattle-Tacoma International Airport for a joyride before crashing into a remote island.

Russell had worked as a ground crew member, partly so he could visit his family in Alaska more often. Though he had no formal flight training other than playing video games, he developed a deep fascination with aviation. On the evening of August 10th, he gained access to an aircraft and took off smoothly, only drawing attention once fellow employees realized something was wrong.

During his flight, Russell flew over Mount Rainier and the Olympic Mountains, did a barrel roll, and even requested GPS coordinates for a recently sighted orca and calf.

Air traffic controllers, two F-15 fighter jets, and a civilian pilot tried to persuade him to land, but their efforts were unsuccessful. When the plane eventually ran out of fuel, Russell guided it into Ketron Island. His death was ruled a suicide, possibly linked to past brain injuries from multiple concussions.

His family remembered him as “a faithful husband, a loving man, and a good friend… He was right in saying that there are so many people who loved him.” Rest in peace, Sky King.

[Registered Flex Offender @supernova3112]

Seeing that he wrote the paper kinda reminds me of this

[Registered Flex Offender @supernova3112]

@NotGermanic @AtomicBoa @danegerbravo @Vinn_Valor @Pirat_Nation Yea I honestly loved the insanity on me1 by endgame. If you’re a biotic and your squad mates also are it’s fun balancing cooldowns to crowd control big groups of enemies

[Registered Flex Offender @supernova3112]

@NotGermanic @AtomicBoa @danegerbravo @Vinn_Valor @Pirat_Nation Fr, if you’re using biotic you have to speed run kasumi’s loyalty mission for the locust unless you want to suffer the whole game

[Registered Flex Offender @supernova3112]

@wematode If it was gas id keep eating it being real

[Registered Flex Offender @supernova3112]

Vodka pasta is possibly the most basic and easy thing to cook on the planet

[Registered Flex Offender @supernova3112]

This is crazy cause even if you don’t have any of these ingredients that’s still $25 max

[megan @chismosavirus]

you guys are pouring prego sauce over noodles and frozen meatball and calling that dinner and you're mad at me cuz im frying up italian sausage, cooking down down shallots and garlic, browning tomato paste, deglazing with vodka and adding heavy cream and parm

[MastaMunsta @MunstaMasta]

Lowtiergod haters are the funniest people on the planet man istg😭

[Registered Flex Offender @supernova3112]

Never thought that lesbians could also fall for “the striper actually loves you” play

[Registered Flex Offender @supernova3112]

@wematode 👎

[Registered Flex Offender @supernova3112]

This looks so bad it’s crazy

[kingofthehill @kingofthehill]

Now this is what I call a good time. All episodes of #KingOfTheHill's new season drop Aug 4th on Hulu.

[Registered Flex Offender @supernova3112]

@wematode That’s why they bother you, they sense your weakness

[Registered Flex Offender @supernova3112]

@wematode Turns out stuff does sometimes happen