atlas boofed

*silence intensifies*

[Bussy Keaton @BussyKeaton]

East Asian guys with chest hair are a precious minority that must be protected

[Christopher @molochofficial]

It’s increasingly clear that Ellen DeGeneres was an environmentally significant apex predator in the media ecosystem; she’d have extracted all entertainment value from the Hawk Tuah girl in a 3-minute segment and banished her back to anonymity, maintaining ecological balance

[atlas boofed @t_Stavs]

YMCA into Gloria? I want that twink obliterated

[Variety @Variety]

Helen Mirren says she feels “sad” that Kurt Cobain is no longer alive because he never got the chance to experience GPS and its “magical” functionality.

“I always say, it’s so sad that Kurt Cobain died when he did, because he never saw GPS,” Mirren said. “GPS is the most wonderful thing, to watch my little blue spot walking down the street. I just find it completely magical and unbelievable.”

Read more here: https://t.co/85CfOMEOmK

[Alli Covington, M.A. ❤️❤️❤️ @allicovington]

You’re wasting your time if diet and exercise don’t lead to toe-curling sex.

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Bankrupted Hedge Fund Managers To Receive $600 Stimulus https://t.co/6t9QLxlBLW

[Witch's Hex 🧙🏻 ✨ 🎃 @DoomerCoomer]

if a streamer picks the “big dick” option in cyberpunk they have to post proof otherwise it’s appropriation

[New York Post @nypost]

Massive 'F–k Cuomo and de Blasio' mural painted on Brooklyn street https://t.co/bOMdfzKW9O

[Lady Gaga @ladygaga]

Rumors I’m pregnant? Yeah, I’m pregnant with #LG6

[Jeffree Star @JeffreeStar]

The whole world wants chronological order. Got it? 😄

[Lady Gaga @ladygaga]

Still playing #Bayonetta middle of chapter XIII and my hands hurt and I have to sleep and it’s 4 In the damn morning but this damn dragon with the face that I have to kill with my weave. Smh. Give it another go in the morning #gamer respect to the experts I need emotional support

[Nintendo of America @NintendoAmerica]

@ladygaga You got this! 🙌🏻

[Spencer Althouse @SpencerAlthouse]

I would gladly watch this 5-hour-long interview with Tahani.

#TheGoodPlace

[wint @dril]

guys in a pizzeria fighting and busting the little parmesan shakers against the table to shiv each other with

[ResistanceHole @ResistanceHole]

Resistance FTW! This baby balloon perfectly captures Drumpf’s affectionate nature and childlike wonder for all things! https://t.co/0PENByNx5k

[wint @dril]

8 Words We Must Never Say In Front Of Father (Number 6 Will Make You Shit)

[atlas boofed @t_Stavs]

An escort service https://t.co/QRO4JwwsNf

[Adam Rippon @AdamRippon]

Is there an Uber eats that gets you the food but also feeds it to you and asks you about your day?

[jack @fkajack]

i stand by twitter’s decision