As a manager, one of my biggest regrets is losing top performers. They said they we're leaving for a "better opportunity." I figured they left for more money. Turns out, they left because I failed these 3 tests:
Long years ago, when I worked for The Associated Press, I sat for chai in Kathmandu with a Pakistani colleague from The AP’s Islamabad bureau, a very accomplished photographer and a thorough gentleman.
Mid-conversation, he said: “Are you telling me that you have Muslims in the army in India? Because we have been told that there are no Muslims in the Indian Army.”
I was shocked.
“There are thousands and thousands of Muslims in the Indian Army. If there is a battalion with majority Muslim soldiers and a Hindu commander, the Hindu officer will offer namaz with the soldiers. And vice versa. We have literally had a Muslim Vice Chief.”
Most people have no idea what it actually takes to be a founder. They talk about vision, grit, or passion. Those words are props.
What you really sign up for is a life where every decision feels like it costs something real. You will spend years being misunderstood. By your team, your family, even the people you hire to help you. You will fail in public and still need to keep the energy up in private. Every founder lives with the weight of knowing that you can do everything right and still get crushed by luck, timing, or somebody else’s mistake.
Founders aren’t braver than anyone else. They just get used to uncertainty, then stop waiting for clarity. Most of your wins won’t feel like wins at all. The first revenue will be too small. The first team will outgrow you or leave. The first product that feels right will barely matter to the market. You will doubt yourself in private, sometimes every week. The founders who last figure out how to keep moving while the ground shifts underneath them.
Most outsiders want the founder badge but none of the scars. They want the upside, not the drag. The hardest part is sticking around after every plan gets blown up and you have to rebuild with less optimism and more scar tissue. What makes it work isn’t relentless hustle or some mythical trait. It’s learning to make peace with constant discomfort, and then making decisions anyway.
If you need constant reassurance, you’ll give up before the real work begins. If you want everyone to like you, you’ll never make the calls that matter. If you can’t handle months where nothing feels certain, this life will eat you alive.
But if you can hold your own in chaos, get better at being wrong, and still want to show up and try again, you just might have a shot at building something that matters.
That’s what it actually takes. And nobody cares until you make it work.
@ChShersh And I am not afraid of dying. Any time will do, I don’t mind. Why should I be frightened of dying? There’s no reason for it. You’ve got to go sometime
"Courage is the most important of the virtues, because without it, no other virtue can be practiced consistently.
You can be kind and true and fair and generous and just, and even merciful, occasionally.
But to be that thing time after time, you have to really have courage"
- Maya Angelou
Courage is rare.
Rarer than intellect.
Rarer than hard work.
And we need courage to do important things.
To do hard things. New things.
To change the world.
To be true to one's being.
To make difficult decisions.
I also feel no one is born 'courageous'
But it is a quality that can be cultivated
Courage, like all hard things, is a matter of practice.
The way to cultivate courage is:
- Have a contrarian view
- Go against the grain/ common wisdom
- Win at it
One has to be
"Contrarian AND Right" to cultivate courage.
You can start small in the practice of cultivating courage.
By doing something that is common wisdom/ accepted practice, but doesn't sound right you.
Doesn't sit well with you.
When you get that feeling.
When your gut leans towards a different answer, listen and lean in.
Sit with it, introspect, stress-test and if your still still says "yes", go all in.
Thereafter, make it a mission to see the plan through.
Make it a matter of personal pride and ability to see it through.
Be curious, go deep, adjust course as you find new information.
But do your damnest to see this through.
Even if it is harder than expected.
Win.
Because every time you win, on a contrarian bet, it fills your cup of courage.
And every time you give up on your gut-call, you lose a little bit of courage
If you win at a contrarian gut-call you will have more courage and gumption to trust your gut about bigger things.
If you lose, you trust your gut a little less.
The bravest, most courageous people you see were not born courageous.
They went through this cycle of winning at contrarian bets early in life.
And they let that conviction in their gut-calls, compound.
That's how you become a mindset monster - unafraid, optimistic and brave.
And that is how you do great, big, wild, ambitious, generous, kind things.
Because courage lets you harness the best of your virtues.
@hnshah Slowing down when required and moving fast when you should.
Knowing that you're in the driving seat and not the emotion changes everything.
Very accurate. Those who know, know.