Dorothy Vasquez

Promises mean everything, but after they are broken, sorry means nothing.

[Dorothy Vasquez @tarzime]

If you ignore me, I will ignore you. If you don't start the conversation, we won't talk. If you don't put in the effort, why should I?

[Stella Kindred @IrodionMega]

No matter how amazing you are at something, there will always be an 8 year old Asian kid who is better.

[Christine Bonet @basarab_taira]

Facebook Is Like The Hood News. You Find Out Who Die, Who Was Fighting, Who Together, Who Broke Up, Who Fucking Who, Who Pregnant

[Barbara Presley @nazirova1988]

Even if people turn their backs on you, God never does.

[Dorothy Vasquez @tarzime]

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.

[Dorothy Vasquez @tarzime]

RELATED: Wife getting suspicious of all the little hairs in our vanilla ice cream.

[Jessica Frazier @itubashov]

That awkward moment when you wake up from a power nap and have no idea what day, month, or year it is.

[Kathy Huck @89Illarion]

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it is called golf.

[Dorothy Vasquez @tarzime]

Internet Explorer is the best browser for downloading another browser.

[Dorothy Vasquez @tarzime]

Thanks for sending a second text correcting your typo. I would've never broken the elaborate code of a single misspelled word without it.

[Dorothy Vasquez @tarzime]

I don't care if you're joking, if I'm in a bad mood, you're pissing me off.

[Dorothy Vasquez @tarzime]

Someone tell me how you can "accidentally" cheat on your partner? Like, oops, I tripped and my clothes ripped off and I had sex.

[Dorothy Vasquez @tarzime]

I hate the nerds that cover up their answers... Like come on, let's work together bro.

[Dorothy Vasquez @tarzime]

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

[Dorothy Vasquez @tarzime]

Im allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat.

[Margaret Blais @musyakaeva1]

Females will stop speakin 2 their friends over the littlest things but will forgive the same trifling ass dude a millions times

[Lydia Abraham @ligiyafedorysh1]

Cop: "Sir, what's in that bottle next to you? Me: "It's water..." Cop: "Sir, this is wine" Me: "What? That damn Jesus! He did it again!"

[Dorothy Vasquez @tarzime]

Alien 1: Did the humans get our message? Alien 2: Yes, But they named it Dubstep and they dance to it.

[Dorothy Vasquez @tarzime]

A relationship without trust is like having a phone with no service. And what do you do with a phone with no service? You play games.